Snow herd was in big trouble. A plague swept over the herd, infecting many pegasi and has killed many more. You get infected by the plague if you share breath with someone who is infected, so the over-stallion, Twistwing, quarantined the infected group of pegasi several miles away from the herd.
Many steeds in the herd have already died and to make things worse, there are rumors about Mountain herd planning on taking Snow herd while they're weak and vulnerable.
But Twistwing had a plan: capture foals from other herds to help reproduce and repopulate his herd. He has already captured Shadepebble from Mountain herd, but once Twiswing realized who it was he captured, the over-stallion banished Clawfire, her capturer, and Shadepebble out of Snow herd. His next target, will be in Sun(River) herd.....
~
Whisperfrost is to young to understand anything that's going on, but she does know that whatever it is, it's not good. Whisperfrost's dam, Ravenleaf, tells her not to worry and that everything is fine, but Whisperfrost has noticed that pegasi have gone missing, and they never came back. Even several of her foal friends have gone missing as well, but she's too shy to ask anyone where they went.
Whisperfrost often feels like something's missing from her family. Whenever she looks around, she sees large families of pegasi with a dam and a fatherly-figure, which she has learned is called a sire. But, 'Why doesn't she have a sire? Why doesn't she have a large family? Why is it only herself and her mother?' These questions haunt Whisperfrost, but now she knows better than to ask Ravenleaf for an answer....
Whisperfrost meets someone. A friendly and optimistic colt named Alderflare. He was captured from Sun(River) herd. One wing is significantly larger than the other and when Twistwing saw this-and how young the colt was- he became very angry. He told Ravenleaf to look after the colt and to be his nurse mother, since he wasn't been weaned yet. This means, he becomes a half-brother to Whisperfrost, who is sometimes too shy to even raise her voice above a whisper-hence her name. This also means, he has to face brutal winters, bullies, angry over-stallions, and every other reason why Snow herd is messed up.
Whisperfrost soon learns who her father is and she is very confused and angry. She doesn't know what to do. Her only friends who comfort her are Alderflare and her mother.
Alderflare knows that one day Twistwing will force him to repopulate the herd or at least make it healthier in numbers. But everyone, even his own family, thinks he's worthless... Everyone except the quiet little filly and the motherly gray mare.
When things start to change in the herd, Ravenleaf is determined to not let her family get ripped apart. It happened once, she won't let it happen again.
A mysterious force overtakes the herd...but when Whisperfrost finds out what it is and is captured by the force... can this family stay together, or is it just...Broken Love?
Much better. Less of an actual story, more of a synopsis. Nice work.
I edited the intro! I like it more this way. Hope you guys do too!!!
I definitely enjoyed this introduction! Well done River.
Thank you Dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, I seriously can't wait to read more of this story
This is amazing and you are very talented at foreshadowing. I would like to point out a few cautionary notes, though. Make sure you are consistent with tenses. I saw several points where you would switch between past and present tense, sometimes even in the same sentence. I highly recommend editing those to be one or the other. I think it would make it a bit less confusing.
Whisperfrost sounds awesome!
Wow that is AMAZING!!!! CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!
Thank you!
I really cannot wait! This is really good! Awesome.