Last comment from part 5-
Vida:
"What do you need Seaglad?" She sighed. She could not be alone for 10 minutes. It was probably because of that pesky mare Shimmerstream. She wished she could just fall and be alone. She had seen her family. Thunderbrook and her Mother Mistburr. She had wanted to be with them for ever
Frayan:
Frayan walked away to graze by himself; but he didn't feel like eating. The two year old stallion loped deeper into the Trap, away from the group of foals. As soon as he was out of reach; Frayan galloped hard until he tripped, tumbling into a tree in exhaustion. The young stallion lay there, breathing heavily. Finally, after what seemed hours, he stumbled to his hooves and decided to practice with his power. Frayan let lightning pour out of him with ease, but with caution not to cause a fire.
(Dragon, is it ok if Frayan has lightning, just lightning, he uses it like Star would of starfire.)
(Umm... so he should be a yearling if he has powers, and in addition to that, he can't have lightning powers because there's already an OC with those powers. I can go back to my character post and check to see which powers are yet to be taken)
Seaglade:
He frowned, his forelock shadowing his face. He looked away, and the only noise between the two of them were the beating of their wings and the roar of the wind. Then Seaglade answered, βI need nothing but for you to be okay, Vida.β His voice was strong and he had to shout for her to hear him.
(how would you pronounce Vida, like Veedah, or Vi-dah
(Vi Duh)
(ok, good to know)
( so like the vi in vine and then duh? I was pronouncing it VeeDah xD )
(yah, I tink so)
Jeray:
Jeray's mind was whirling in confusion, everyone seemed to be hurt, fisically or emotionally. She staggered, almost falling if she hadn't caught herself against Kifo's sturdy body. Jeray snorted at herself; she had to be sensitive to this stuff; she could protect herself, by using her force bubble. But Jeray had been stupid enough in the panther attack to forget she even had a power, until at the very last minute. If it hadn't been for Kifo, she would have been cat-food, or would have had a serious infection, or died of blood loss. The filly shivered at the thought, and then slapped herself with her tail, dismissing her bitter thoughts.
Raphael
βfrayan!β Raphaels looks around, and starts to search βfrayan!β
Frayan:
Frayan's mouth popped and crackled with lightning; the pure joy of letting loose his awesome power was almost overwhelming. The two year old closed his mouth, shutting off the power; he sighed as he looked around at the dull gray Trap. Frayan shook his head, wishing that he could just fly, and not be stuck claustrophobically in the dense forest. His knees buckled and he collapsed to the ground with a grunt, letting his eyes droop into a doze.
A distant voice called, but it seemed miles away; Frayan settled down and wrapped himself with his wings, his nose tucked under them. (ignore the lightning stuff. I changed Frayan's power)
Raphael
Raphael stumbles upon Frayan. βThere you are! Are you okay
Frayan:
Frayan's eyes snapped open when he heard an all-too familiar voice. He looked up, and rubbed the back of his neck, "Raphael?" He asked, squinting in the dim light, "What are you doing here?"
Raphael
βI was looking for you.β (Is all too familiar ba?)
(No, it means that Frayan knew Raphael's voice really well.)
Frayan:
"Oh," Frayan half mumbled to himself; he got up stiffly, and faced Raphael, "So how are you and your power?" He asked, changing the subject, and flexed his wings.
( i don't know why, but whenever i read the name, Dapplefray, i think i'm reading apple cobbler or something... actually, apple fritter. XD)
(I see what you mean, I keep misreading it as Applefry)
Raphael
βGood...? You and yours?β
Frayan:
Frayan smiled, "I was just having fun with mine, letting it loose and everything," he replied, looking dreamily off into the distance.
Raphael
βokay! Well, what if we reied to worked in unison?
Frayan:
Frayan turned his head back to Raphael, "That sounds awesome!" He praised, excitement bubbling up within him, "So how should we do it?" He added, looking at the yearling questioningly.
Sharkstone:
Sharkstone sulked off by himself, his wings tucked on his back. The colt snorted, why should all the power-foals have attention? Why did they get to be so special? Sharkstone reared in frustration and kicked a sapling, snapping it in half. He looked away from the sad sight, the colt always had problems with his anger; his father once said that one day his rage would destroy something he loved.
(Does he he go nice?)