Hi guys! I've noticed that this role play has been very slow lately, and the same could be said of the message board. I think that we are all starting to outgrow this place, finding new joys and new ways to spend our time, and that is alright!
Darkness on the Rise has been going on for almost three years. We have made so many memories here! Dotr had helped me grow as a writer. I'm connected to these characters and I'm connected to this plot. Most role plays die without receiving a true ending, but that doesn't need to happen with Dotr.
I would like to find a way to tie up some of the loose strings to the plots we had going on here, if all of you also agree. We could role play the ending, or we could also just discuss what would happen.
A long time ago (and perhaps in a galaxy far far away 😉), Iceberry and Stormflight designed an ending for Dotr. We would have to change a good deal of it, as so much has happened since then, but we could potentially use attributes of what they wrote here if people would like.
I very much agree, I'd love them to have/ or at least have discussed, a good ending. I feel very much as sad as it is I've outgrown this space and that's lead me to become less and less active. Kevty also took a very big nose dive (which I'd like to uncannonize some or most of), due to my own failing mental health at the time, but I'd like her to get a good ending, as she is probably my most important oc at the time)
@Windfeather (I can empathize a lot with what you said. I think we all put so much of ourselves into our characters. Cosmo and Nova especially helped me realize so much about myself.)
(I think this is a wonderful idea and gives the characters an end they deserve> I'm going to make a new... and likely the last official Darkness on the rise post to keep this organized! I'll ad the link above when i've finished :).)
“He’s a child. He is seventeen years old. He has hardly had the time to get experienced. Even I felt misgivings at first.”
Hayes:
“Please do.” He tapped his foot anxiously. “Ask Nova to as well.” Surely if the two did it together, they would be able to avoid getting stuck and ending up in similar...comatose situations?
Cosmo:
“And when are emotions a blessing?” he asked brokenly. The sickening sense of dread he felt right now made him want to ask Dr. Fenn to sedate him until it was all over. “What are you going to do? Watch as San goes through his most vulnerable moments?” He couldn’t stop himself from shaking. “Please, Doctor. Please, you have to help him.”
"Rick or whatever seems plenty responsible to me...?"
Sash
He hesitated then nodded, "I think I could try?"
Dr. Fenn
"No one is asking you to be like San or act like him... you can close your eyes and plug your ears, but the time is going drag you along..." he wished he could release him... he really did but Cosmo put the helmet on. "Emotions can also be a blessing, Cosmo."
"The guild is in a shaky place right now. Everyone is still trying to get used to the fact that the guild leader is well...a child. It's a time of distrust."
Hayes:
"Aren't you connected to San because of the whole helmet thing? Can you feel anything through there?"
Cosmo:
He shook his head wordlessly, causing tears to cut a zig-zag pattern down his face. "I'm not like San. I'm not a strong hero. I am reaching my limit on how much pain I can tolerate."
It wasn't that he wanted to refuse to see San's traumas; he wanted to help San overcome those memories. It was that he wasn't mentally well enough to see those memories in real time, without knowing there was an end in sight.
"I've heard what some Mandos say about me. They say that I'm too weak. I'm too emotional. And...it's true. San could stay strong and do this." His voice broke. "I can't."
"You're injured, yes, but you are also a mystery to them. You haven't served here for more than a decade. They think that since you left, you changed sides. Hayes isn't in good favor right now, either so that doesn't do anything for you."
Hayes:
He wished he had gotten the chance to know Nova better. "She's grieving for her mother, too. She's grieving for all that could have been." He cleared his throat. "Nova smashed one of San's helmets to bring you back. I thought that maybe that would tie you two into this in some way?"
Cosmo:
"A dream, maybe, but torture nevertheless." Nightmares had a way of sticking with you, and even influencing the person you became. He shivered, feeling like the jaws of an iron cage were squeezing his heart, like an animal trap catching a creature's leg.
"What I need to see is my San. I need to see him alive and well. I need him to see me, to really see me, to see the heart of who I am."
He furrowed his brows, "not saying that's entirely out of character, but how rude of them to jump to conclusions. Don't they know I'm an injured man?"
Sash
He looked towards a window and smiled slightly, "there are a few things I know, and that is that she's the strongest woman I've ever met, and that Nasa treated her very well. I don't blame her for that. I couldn't. " he rubbed his face and turned his attention back to Hayes, "was there something specific about Nova you wanted to know? Do you think she's connected to the helmet in any way?"
Dr. Fenn
"I don't think he will remember much of what happens here... he might but I doubt it. If he does I believe it would be more like a dream? It may be something you need to see."
"No. They were mostly concerned about the nurse who was screaming." She huffed. "Actually, they thought you were hurting the nurse."
Hayes:
He shook his head. "I'm sorry about that, Sash. Give Nova some time to grieve. I've seen how much she cares about you." He knew what it was like to grieve.
Cosmo:
He didn't move Dr. Fenn's hands away. Though he was shivering, he wasn't cold. If anything, he was a little hot. His body wasn't reacting well to all of this news. He finally managed to stop coughing and felt somewhat out of breath.
"You mean stopping the trauma from happening?" He wheezed a bit. "But you said he'd have to face it again anyway."
He wanted to hear the mature San's voice he knew. He wanted to be wrapped up in those arms and held tight. When San had been there, he felt alive.
"I don't know... I wish I understood what was wrong here... Nova uh... she broke up with me officially though. I thought maybe you would want to know that, but it's not going to help those men.
Dr. Fenn
He put his hands on his shoulders, "but your San is here... this is what made the loving man you know... maybe you need to see who he would have been without all he had gone through."
"For now," she said a bit sharply. "They weren't happy about it." Remy was a bit of a hazard here.
Hayes:
"Anything that could help here?" He would be really angry if San dragged Lander down with him.
Cosmo:
Dr. Fenn's comparison between San and a bomb made him think of Calore. Calore was a real human bomb, designed to go off in a burst of flesh and blood.
He flopped onto his back, lying there on the carpet with his hands on his chest, which was feeling tight again.
"San finds ways to save those he loves, and yet, I can't seem to do the same for him. I have never been strong enough." His voice was shaking, shaking, a volcano about to erupt. "There has been so much pain and death. I can't imagine glitter anymore." He closed his eyes, but tears still streamed down his cheeks anyway. "San is my safety, but my San isn’t here!"
He shut his eyes and sighed, "I know a little bit..."
Dr. Fenn
He was aware of the situation and this man's failing state of sanity, "the weight of war is a hard one to bear... and you fell for a man who placed himself right at the front of it because he was sold and found such a solace in saving those he loved..." he looked into Comso's eyes and found the brokenness inside, "love drives us crazy, but love also is our safety. This man is a bomb... but that doesn't mean the explosion he makes will be filled with pain and death. It could be a glitter bomb."
The clamor outside died down and the sound of footsteps walking away could be heard. Katra walked back into the room.
Hayes:
"The helmet did something to them, and maybe the cyanide, too." He sighed. "I was hoping you knew something about that d*** helmet? Or Nova?"
Cosmo:
He felt something snap within him. "You call this living?" His voice was edging on hysteria. "To see your love suffer through one pain after another, all while being incapable of doing anything other than making things worse? To feel so horribly empty inside because you are grabbing at loose strings? Ha, Dr. Fenn, I've never felt quite so dead."
He glared at the door as if that would or could do anything.
(Hmmmm B?)
Sash
He hardly knew how to take that, "are they going to be ok... what... how?"
Dr. Fenn
"I really hope not much... I believe there will be a place where both of you will find peace and thus joy in your lives... neither of you are even halfway through life."
He hugged Haydi tighter as the bickering continued outside. Katra was arguing fiercely, but he didn't know if words would be enough to protect them.
(A or B?)
Hayes:
He heard that. Nova must have given Sash the couch. Sorry, Sash.
"Cosmo and San both seem to be...well...a little too still at the moment. They're alive, but comatose, it seems."
Cosmo:
He slid down the wall and set down the journal and the stuffy, unable to quash his panic this time. He could feel himself on the verge of something terrible, wobbling on a precipice hundreds of feet in the air. He pulled things out of his pockets, desperate to find something, anything, that could get San and him out of here. His inhaler. The sapphire brooch. The letter. Two lightsabers: one Fotarah’s and one Azar’s. A comm with no signal. A packet of hot chocolate powder. No! He pressed his hands against the floor and breathed harder.
“Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them,” he whispered.
“How much more suffering will San and I have to endure before we are...are happy?” He could feel a weight behind his eyes.
He held him close and gave him a tight hug. He wanted to protect him. He just didn't know how...
Sash
He hesitated, "y-yes... fa- Hayes? What's going on?"
Dr. Fenn
"The person who created this is not here... and now that you put yourself in here, there is no way for you to get out or contact anyone outside without seeing this through... I don't think they considered this to be a thing that would happen..."
"A hug is much appreciated." He carefully gave Haydi a hug, making sure to avoid pulling out the IV.
Hayes:
He put the dots together. "A helmet?" Cosmo had been clutching that thing like his life depended on it when he had arrived.
Cosmo:
He let out a short breath and shook his head. "No. San is more than an object to be used; he is a living, breathing being. He went through more trauma than I'll ever know from his time as a 5-year-old to his time as a teen. I am not going to make him go through that suffering again."
He still had San's cat stuffed animal. He held it with lightly shaking hands. "Where is the person who created this?"
He smiled a little bit. "Okay. I wish I could turn invisible, though." He paused. "No, I don't, actually. Being a ghost was not fun."
Hayes:
Great! Sash was here. Now how to ask him about all of...this. "You were talking to Cosmo a bit ago, weren't you? Do you have any idea how the **** he was poisoned with cyanide?"
Cosmo:
He was starting to feel sick just thinking about it. San had shared the memory of what Azar had done with him. That memory hurt so very much, and these other memories of San's weren't so much better.
He tried not to panic. "We'll just have to find another way out of this trap, then."
"Hands or not, I work out. I'm strong and not going to let you go."
Sash
He picked up and felt just the slightest bit confused, but it was his... the man who had been his father in law? "Hello?"
Dr. Fenn
"I can not tell you what to do... you can certainly try it? I believe it will just cause you to see what would have been had those event not happened to him. I think you will still have to face them in order to get out."
He watched as Katra stepped outside the room. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but angry voices flitted around outside.
"But, Haydi, your hands," he whispered.
Hayes:
He called Sash and remained out in the hallway. He didn't want to bring Lander until the med bay quite yet. Lander hadn't given a complete answer as to whether he would be okay seeing San or not.
Cosmo:
"Torture," he breathed, his legs suddenly feeling weak again. He leaned against the wall more heavily than before. "What if I stopped it? If I stopped Ryndi and Denu from giving San away, if I fought back Azar before he even dared touch San with his blade, if I prevented Hida from taking the bait?"
His face paled. "I'm not expected to just watch San go through all that pain without doing anything, am I?"
"Don't tell me what I can or can not do..." he whispered and reached for Remy, "they can't rip you from my arms."
Lander
"I know you are right..."
Dr. Fenn
He looked at him. "Not about saving them, but getting lost in them. It's a form of torture... they person who designed this is hoping he can't face them... in that aspect, San isn't special. No one wants to face what they have tried so hard to forget."
"No," she snapped. "Haydi, you're hurt. You can't be protecting anyone right now." She looked back and forth between the unconscious nurse and the door, then angrily strode towards it.
"I'll see what I can do."
Remy:
He stayed by Haydi, his fingers twitching at his side. These people were so afraid of him.
Hayes:
He pulled out his comm. "I care about Sash, but we simply can't care about worrying him when lives may be on the line. If he doesn't know, at least we tried."
Cosmo:
He held his notebook tightly at his side and stood up as well. He was a bit shaky, but the wall helped immensely. "Is this about facing childhood traumas?" He could help with that, but again, he wasn't sure if San felt comfortable sharing his traumas with him.
He nodded and glanced over at the door. "Remy... come here. Now. I'm going to protect you."
Lander
"Do we want to worry him...? What if he doesn't know?"
Dr. Fenn
"A good plan," he said as he stood up, "I like it. Thing is San reds to do the brunt of the work and currently he is five years old. Anything he chooses to block, he can... but he can't get out until he faces them."
She picked the nurse up from the floor and set her in a nearby chair. "She's still breathing. Luckily."
(A - No one heard the nurse or no one thinks it is worth investigating.
B - People heard the nurse and think it is worth investigating)
Remy:
He could hear the pitter-patter of feet and swallowed hard. "They heard her."
Hayes:
"Cosmo was talking to Sash when I found him and San in their ship. I suppose Sash might know." He didn't want to tell Sash about how horrible Cosmo and San looked right now, though.
Cosmo:
"This must be some type of limbo." He paged through his notebook and landed on the page where he had written the various riddles. He'd put so many notes in the margins that they were all blurring together. He sighed and closed the notebook.
"I've been trapped in a place like this before." He knew that Arien was gone, but he still remembered that world of dark crystalline glass where only Rick could see him. "Places like these, they get to you. The sooner we all get out, the better."
"Just make sure she's breathing and then we won't have a problem."
(Hmmm... B?)
Lander
He nodded, staring straight ahead, "do we know who did this...?"
Dr. Fenn
He smiled softly and looked around, "I haven't been able to escape Shadow since I first began working for him... once I let my end, I still wasn't able to escape him... he has some hold on my being on deaths side so here I am. As for where we are, I wish I knew? It's somewhere between life and earth, but where, I'm not sure?"
She hit the nurse solidly in the head. The nurse fell to the ground, unconscious.
"You asked me to do that," she said, defending her actions.
Remy:
His pulse was racing as he glanced at the door.
(A or B?)
Hayes:
He didn't pick up the helmet. He realized that he'd forgotten something important. "Cyanide might have been on that thing," he muttered. "We'll have to clean our hands."
The helmet may have been what brought the two men into their comas, but the cyanide had certainly been giving Cosmo a fun time earlier.
Cosmo:
"Okay." He took a deep breath and relished the feeling of actually being able to breathe. "So where exactly are we? Is this some closed-off portion of limbo? Why are you here?"
He glared at the nurse, "shut her up." He said to Kate's, "before she summons the entire ship."
Lander
"I can... I can feel the past in this thing..." he slammed it to the ground and far away from him.
Dr. Fenn.
He nodded knowingly, "I suppose a five years old can't consent to what you will learn, but you will find him at some age where he can consent to you being there."
He edged towards Haydi's bed, his eyes wide and frightened.
Katra:
"I order you to be quiet!" she tried. The nurse didn't shut up.
Hayes:
He watched Lander. Why was his son tearing up at a piece of metal? "What is it?"
Cosmo:
It was far easier to breathe now that his heart felt lighter. The world did not seem to be choking him as it was before. He traced his finger along the drawing of San, from what felt like so long ago.
"San is more than just my friend. I don't like learning this much about his past without his consent, but I suppose that it can't be helped." He wanted San to have a choice the matter.
He eyed the nurse, "Remy, come here. Now." He wanted to be sure he could protect him.
Lander
His eyes filled with tears but the didn't fall. He flipped the helmet over, looking at it everywhere he could. "Gosh..."
Dr. Fenn
"I know so. He's not too far gone... and if you are willing to breathe, then you may even be able to help him... but you may learn more than you ever wished to know about your friend."
That boy really was Remy! "Ahhh!" She screamed louder and clutched her arm. "Don't hurt me!"
Katra:
She hesitated, unsure if she should hit the nurse to shut her up.
Remy:
He was more scared of the nurse than she was of him.
Hayes:
"It's a creepy thing. I wouldn't be surprised." He didn't like Mandalorian helmets anyway.
Cosmo:
He felt hopeful for the first time since he had been here. "You know so?" He flipped his journal open and immediately came to a drawing of San. "He isn't too far gone yet?"
Here was Haydi's distraction, as ordered. She stepped in front of Remy, but it was too late.
Nurse:
"Aaah!" She screamed. She hadn't been working at the guild for long, but she had heard the scary Remy stories that the older doctors to keep the newer ones in line.
'Beware of Remy!' they would say with the dramatization that a normal ghost story would get. 'He wanders these halls still, searching for his next victim.'
Remy:
He stumbled backwards into the wall.
Hayes:
He wanted to let Lander have some agency. "Okay, then." He picked up the helmet and turned it upside down. "Be careful. There is a needle in there." Two people's blood stained the needle now.
He handed the helmet to Lander.
Cosmo:
He pressed a hand to his heart and felt it beating. There hadn't been many other times where he had felt quite this...dead. "Please, be honest with me. Do I have a chance of saving San at all? Or finding a way to catch him up to speed with who he once was? How much have I butchered things up?"
"If I can't get up... I need something to distract me..." and he really did. With the painkillers running through him and the lack of limb, he felt a little crazy. His gaze snapped over to the intruder.
Lander
"I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty darn close." He looked at his dad, "please. Just let me see it."
Dr. Fenn
He let a moment of silence pass between them before he finally said, "your life, Cosmo. With your heart still beating, so much can be fixed. A man can be returned to his memories. A woman you care for deeply can forgive you."
He followed Haydi's gaze and felt his stomach turn inside out.
Katra:
"I'm sorry," she said. "Once you are stable enough, they should let you get up.
Nurse:
She was new to working in Dragon's Bane Guild's med bay. She chose this moment to walk into the private room that had Haydi and his party in it. She thought that it was a storage closet.
Hayes:
Could this be San's helmet? Or was it the other one over there that was painted the same? "I need more than just what you think, Lander."
Cosmo:
He was still looking at the ground, but grief painted a solemn picture over his face. "I've lost the two people that raised me. I've lost Kira. Things are strained between us, and we don't feel comfortable around the other. The family we tried to make is gone. I've lost the clan. They think I'm took weak and focused on San to rule, and they're right. I'm losing my life: a poison was wrecking my body in the real world." He lifted his gaze a bit and looked towards the room he knew San to be in. "I've lost my companionship with San. He's forgotten me. I've lost the future I dreamed of with him."
He finally met Dr. Fenn's eyes. "What do I have left?"
"That would be, but that doesn't mean that one of us can't do it." She realized that just meant her. Remy shouldn't be wandering through the halls of this place.
Hayes:
"Eer...no." He didn't even dare pick up the helmet. "Unless you are very sure that it wouldn't hurt you." Cosmo had said that it had been part of the reason San had fallen into that coma.
Cosmo:
He didn't try to stop Dr. Fenn from helping him. He knew that he needed the help. "Should I have given up? I feel as though I have lost everything." He knew that he still had Sash, Flint and now Dr. Fenn, he supposed, but he wasn't very close to any of them yet. Right now, he needed someone who he'd feel comfortable crying in the arms of, someone who he loved, someone whose words he trusted without a doubt.
He pursed his lips, "would chasing them around the ship be against my resting agreement?"
Lander
He stared at the helmet, "can I see that?" He whispered. He felt drawn to it... but it felt more like the draw one has to the adrenaline rush. Dangerous.
Dr. Fenn
"Then you have given up." He said gently, "I had been rooting for you... once my son, always my son. Even if you never knew me." He sat on Cosmo's other side and began taking out supplies in order to help his arm.
"The Nightwalker we captured, Vaydek. He escaped along with the other prisoner, the young scientist girl Sallou." She was not happy about this development in the slightest.
Hayes:
He knelt down and pulled the helmet off Cosmo, then pressed his fingers against the man's neck. "He is breathing," he said after a moment. "It's faint though, like San. The cyanide poisoning could have put him into a coma."
Cosmo:
"Given up? It depends on what you mean. I haven't given up on saving San; I just have no idea how to pursue that right now. I haven't given up on keeping my promise to San; I won't abandon him and will help him."
He stared at the beads of ruby red running down his arm. He didn't bother to hide it. This was him unconsciously crying for help. "What I've given up on are my dreams and the pursuit of my happiness." What had once been dreams were now nightmares: not because they were scary, but because he knew they were things he could never have and that hurt so much.
"Careful usually is best." He swallowed hard. "We need to get that prisoner back, though."
Katra:
"Rick has been alerted. Hopefully some guild soldier will find him."
Hayes:
"I'll just have to push a little harder, then." He shoved his shoulder against the door and was finally able to open it. Cosmo's body, still with San'd helmet on, had been blocking the doorway.
"****. ****!"
Cosmo:
He looked down at the notebook in his lap, which he knew was full of riddles, various sketches, and drawings of San. "'Maybe' isn't enough, but maybe it's going to have to stay." He couldn't get over the fact that San didn't remember him anymore. It burned within his chest and poked at the holes his parents had unintentionally left.
He pulled his hand away from his arm and stared at the five spots of blood of his arm. The physical pain distracted him from his emotional pain, at least for a little. The blood pooled up and tricked down like tears.
"Carefully you say??" He raised a brow at her. "Remy, do you agree?"
Lander
He watched, "maybe something is blocking it?" He offered.
Fen
"Maybe he didn't say that because he thought you did something wrong... but because he knew you enough to know you would blame yourself for what happened to him..." he looked back towards the room they had left San in, "I am tied into a lot of what has happened, Cosmo... more than I can say right now."
"Think carefully about your choices." She realized now that Haydi may be unable to make rational choices at the moment due to the painkillers.
Her comm buzzed and she looked down at it and bit her lip. "Well, shoot. Our Nightwalker prisoner got out."
Hayes:
"Than I will keep breathing, and so must you." He knew the way now, so finding his way back to the med bay wasn't difficult.
He tried to open the door, but something was jamming it. "D***. What's wrong with this blasted door?"
Cosmo:
He remembered the time on the bench. He remembered how San had finally told him what was going on. It had been a mark of trust. He had made a promise to San, a promise that he was struggling to keep.
His voice lost its tone of anger but still kept the grief. “He trusted me then. I don’t know if he would anymore. ‘I forgive you,’ he said. He knows that I’ve done wrong. He knows that something is wrong with me.” He sat with that for a moment. “But you? How do you know about all of that?”
He glared at her for a moment before he relaxed again and calmed down, "that I know I do want to do."
Lander
He smiled again, "well I like it when you breathe too."
Fenn
He just listened until Cosmo had finished. His voice was soft. Void of judgment or anger. "You think someone removed his memories of you and that is what made him happy?" He paused, "shall I remind you of the time on the bench?"
She honestly didn't know the answer to that question. "You're an adult; I can't do anything to you. If you want to continue your mission, however, you are going to have to nourish yourself."
Hayes:
"Your every breath affects me, too. I like it when you breathe." It wasn't the same thing as what San and Lander shared, though.
Cosmo:
He looked up suddenly, his hazel eyes flaming with anger. "I'm not a trustworthy man! I led my brother into a trap, and everything I've done has just been thing the noose tighter and tighter around his neck. Something is wrong with me. Don't you dare praise me." His voice was shaking with emotional pain. "I am the wrong choice. I got San into this situation. I messed up so badly that someone had to remove all of San's memories of me to make him happy again."
He laughed bitterly. "My parents always said that I was loyal to a fault. So tell me, Dr. Fenn. Tell me what I've done."
"And if in an hour I'm still not hungry, are you just going to force it down my throat regardless?"
Lander
"His every breath effects me." He reminded his dad then hesitated, "At least it did?"
Fenn
He looked at both items before he lightly shook his head, "regardless of who sent those to you, they made a good choice. You are a trustworthy and loyal man, just because you haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean you were the wrong choice."
"Give it an hour. You might feel more hungry then." She started to pace. How could they keep Haydi occupied for an hour? Maybe he would like to call someone?
Hayes:
"It's not going to be easy." He awkwardly opened a door with his foot. "It's going to take a lot of time, but if you can just start thinking about this as you helping a guy you are close with instead of yourself, that will make all the difference. Start correcting yourself when you think of it differently."
Cosmo:
He couldn't look at Dr. Fenn right now. He planted his gaze on the floor and dug his nails in further. He was strangely reluctant to ask about what had happened to San. He was terrified to know the answer.
"Were you the one who sent me the letter and the broach?" He took both things out of his pocket and laid them on the ground. "I'm sorry if you were. You should have never put faith in me."
"That's... debatable." He muttered, but it was clear he was warming up to the idea.
Lander
He shut his eyes and tried to imagine doing that, "I can't... yet. I still know too much... too much to do. And besides... I wouldn't even know how to begin."
Dr. Fenn
He leaned against the wall, a kind expression on his face, "more than you probably think. Thank you for being honest with my daughter."
(I forgot to answer!
He wouldn't feel it. His body would fall into a state of hibernation? It would be ok... the bleeding would slow but he'd likely still need assistance)
"Oh." He relaxed a little bit and seemed less tense.
Katra:
"And won't this 'torture' be better than being hungry?"
Hayes:
He pushed the wheelchair through the maze of beds. "You have to stop thinking about yourself in relation to San, Lander. The more distance you place between him and you in your mind, the better."
Cosmo:
He managed to get back to the room he had woken up in. He sat down against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest, as if pretending to be small and a kid again. The notebook pressed against his heart, a reminder of his memories and what he carried inside.
He used his inhaler and leaned his head back against the wall. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before suddenly crossing his right hand over his chest and digging his nails into his left arm.
"Dr Fenn," he said. "How much do you know about me? How much of the world can you see?" He needed to set the record straight. He couldn't have Dr. Fenn go through all of this thinking that what he'd had for San was just friendship or that he was his son in law.
"How much like torture?" he said softly, his voice shaking a bit. If he took the drug...if he took the drug...
Hayes:
"I'm being serious, Lander. This isn't funny." The wheelchair creaked and groaned, but he managed to get it rolling. "The first thing you can do to help yourself is shore up your individuality."
Cosmo:
"I have met your mother, but not your father." He gently pressed the crayons back into San's hand. He didn't need to look at them to see what color they would be. "No. You can keep these. I'll draw a picture for you later." He put the cat stuffy on the ground, too.
"I just need a little bit of time. I'll be back." He clutched his notebook tightly and stumbled out of the room.
(How much would he be effected by what is happening to his body in the med bay in this limbo like place?)
He smiled and even laughed a little bit, "Dad, I like it when you get all defensive and protective."
San
His eyes lit up and he jumped, "you have the same name as me! Do you know my mommy? Or my daddy? I love them!" He smiled and picked itu a few crayons for his new friend. He chose his favorite colors and handed them to Cosmo Braze. "For you!"
"That is precisely what I mean," she said shortly. "It won't be that bad."
Hayes:
"Don't say that," he snapped. "You aren't any lesser than anyone, Lander. It's true that not everyone is going to give you equal rights. That's why you need to go and ******* take them." Everything he said was out of love.
Cosmo:
He held the stuffy there with his chin and took a deep breath. It hurt to breathe, but he could smell San in this stuffy. It wasn't the same San-scent, but it was still very San.
"I like drawing a lot." He pulled his notebook from his pocket with his free hand. He fingered the pages. "But I realize that I haven't introduced myself. My name is Cosmo..."
Do I still have a right to you name, San? You gave it to me of your own free will. Though that memory of yours may be gone, I can still picture it as clear as day.
Maybe that’s what I am meant to be, now that things have changed. I’ll keep your memory alive. I’ll remember the you that was before.
"My name is Cosmo Braze," he said aloud. "I am not related to you by blood, but I...I am family."
If Rick didn't come in four hours, she would be very mad. "Now, in the meantime, it would be good if you ate between now and before Rick comes."
Hayes:
He managed to get Lander fully into the wheelchair. "No. Even if Nasa had raised you as intended, you still would have been a different person. For one, it wasn't just San's genetics. Two, coming directly or indirectly from someone doesn't mean that you are them. I am not my parents."
He looked Lander in the eyes. "You are an individual, and you have all the rights of an individual."
Cosmo:
Baby. He wished that he was a baby, too. If San was five, he should have been two or three, depending on the month. He'd had a very happy childhood.
He took a shuddery breath and finally found his words again. "It's not okay," his voice cracked, "but I'm happy for you." He made himself let go of San before the hug felt like it had gone on to long.
He'd thought that he could be San's escape, but San had found a very different escape indeed.
He frowned but nodded, "I can wait four hours..." but so much could happen in four hours...
Lander
He winced a bit but tried to help. "I'm still part of him... I may be my own person, but I nearly wasn't... and I came directly from him... in a less direct way?"
San
He didn't really understand what was going on and just hugged him. Oh? "It's ok, baby?" He just repeated what his mom would say to him when he was upset and she was trying to comfort him.
Dr. Fenn
This man needed an explanation, but first he'd have to snap out of it... no one was supposed to be able to make it here, but it was going to change the entire course of things now that someone other than him was here.
She didn’t have a specific amount, but she decided that she might as well pick a number and go with it. “4,” she decided. “Will that suit you alright?”
Hayes:
“No... it's not like that,” he argued. “The papers may not say it yet, but they will once I find Rook. You are your own person. You may have San’s genetics, but you aren’t San in everything else. Your thoughts are your own, your experiences are your own, everything you do is your own.” He managed to lift Lander into the chair.
Cosmo:
Do I need a hug? I—
He looked into San’s eyes for another moment before he took the boy up on the offer. He threw his arms around the boy, hugged him tightly, and wept over his shoulder. What I need is you. It’s always been you. I know what you are to me, but what am I to you now? I love you, San.
"That's not advisable. Can't you wait a few hours before trying that? I'm sure Rick will be there by then." She wasn't sure, actually, but she really hoped that he would.
Hayes:
"Understandable. I wouldn't feel good about seeing myself like that, either. San does look peaceful right now, though, like he is taking a long nap." He moved the wheelchair as close to the bed as he could. "You seriously don't have to look at him if you don't feel like it."
Cosmo:
He couldn't feel the hand at his shoulder and Dr. Fenn's words only dimly registered in his mind. If this was step one, what was step two? Was it going to get worse from here, or better? Could he even live to see that if the cyanide didn't claim his life first?
For a moment, all he could see were those eyes. Such vibrant green eyes. He could see himself reflected back in them. His heart pounded painfully and he just didn't know how to feel anymore with San being a child.
He was still unable to speak. He could only keep looking into San's eyes, so many tangled emotions reflected back in his own. Love. Regret. Longing. Sadness. Loneliness.
He took a shaky breath, "dad... I'm kind of nervous... the thought of seeing him like that? I want to, but it makes me feel queasy."
Fenn
He once again placed his hand on his once Son in Laws shoulder. "Before you just fall into a pit of despair, this is only step one..."
San
The young boy walked over and offered the man one of his stuffed animals. It was his favorite. A fuzzy purple cat. "Meow?" Big and innocent green eyes stared at Cosmo.
"Yes, but more importantly, they may be able to help you." She checked her comm and her voice fell. "Oh. He's busy right now. We'll have to wait a while."
Remy:
Thinking about Aeriel made him shiver.
Hayes:
"I may be old, but I haven't lost my tracking skills yet, Lander." He placed his hand over his son's. "I'll take you to the others." Luckily, the wheelchair was still here. It would have been very hard without it.
Cosmo:
He was relieved at first. San wasn't a Cthulhu-like monster, nor was he in any kind of visible pain. This was San before Shadow and San before the scars. Perhaps this was the time of his life when he had been happiest.
Then it dawned on him. This San wasn't his friend, wasn't his brother, wasn't his leader. This was San pre-Shadow, but it was also San pre-Cosmo.
When Shadow had been in his mind, the thing that had petrified him was that Shadow would take away his memories of San. Now the opposite had happened: he'd been erased from San.
All the times that they had spent together. Gone.
He tried to speak, but he couldn't get any words to leave his mouth. He fell to his knees, his breath coming in quick, unfulfilling gasps. Before he even realized that he was crying, his eyes had overflowed with tears. Gone was his determination from earlier. He felt so very very cold.
He looked between them. "So the biting dragon is coming here? That's what we decided?"
Lander
He offered him a smile, "seems you still are a good bounty hunter, dad."
Dr. Fenn
He led him down a small hall and into the only other room there. The inside of the room was a replica of what San's childhood bedroom looked like... on the floor in that room was San... but he wasn't the adult that Cosmo would know him as. He was a kid of the age of five.
"There should be no biting at all, if we're lucky."
Remy:
"I'll just hide under the bed again if Rick comes," he decided. "Katra, can you please message him?"
Katra:
"Here goes nothing," she muttered. She wrote out a formal-sounding message to Rick. He was a commanding officer.
Hayes:
He hung up on the call and followed Lander's voice to the bed. "Ah, there we go. Found you." He stood there awkwardly. He had never liked seeing sick people.
Cosmo:
Dr. Fenn's words sent a fresh stab of alarm shooting through him. He gritted his teeth and shouldered it. He needed to accept that San wasn't okay right now. Even still, his heart really hurt right now.
"I understand." He accepted the helping hand and managed to get to his feet. There was a weariness in his eyes that hadn't been there last time he had talked to Dr. Fenn. His body and mind were reaching their breaking point.
He was confused, the meds getting to his brain, "getting bit is better than not getting bit?"
Lander
He felt a small smile playing on his lips, "over here." He called weakly. His voice wasn't as strong as it normally was, but he was relatively fine.
Fenn
He hesitated before he nodded and stood, offering a hand to help the man to his feet. "Go slow... prepare your mind for anything... I'll answer any questions you have, but keep your voice soft."
"But isn't it better than the alternative?" Haydi wasn't taking to the help of the medics here very well. Maybe a different kind of help would be better.
Katra:
"I guess so." She started to pace back and forth. "It may be better if you leave the room for that, Remy."
Hayes:
"I disagree. Fotarah brought a lot of light into my life when she asked for you to be made." He usually didn't say things like that; he was feeling sentimental today.
He opened the door to the bunkroom and tried to find Lander in the rows and stacks of dusty beds.
Cosmo:
He focused on one thing: his promise. Whatever happens, I can’t forget the promise I made. I need to follow San, wherever his spirit is now. I would follow him to the end of the universe. I may keep missing the target, but I'll find him. He took a hesitant breath, then another. Owww.
He looked into Dr. Fenn's eyes. "Whatever's happened, I need to see him."
"If the dragon bites me, I may bite it back." He muttered.
Lander
He was feeling very off, but wasn't feeling like his life was in danger. "She wasn't a very bright person." He breathed.
Fenn
He knelt next to the man and put his hand on his shoulder, "deep breaths and focus on one thing. Recenter your brain of this place may break you. " he paused, "he's here, but he isn't how you would remember him."
He hugged Haydi, keenly aware of what was flesh and bone and what wasn't. It hurt to know that he had the power to fix all of this, if he only returned to Miranda and took the drug. There had to be another way.
"Rick may be able to help," he said after a moment. "He inherited Arien's mantle."
Katra:
"Commander Rick Shander doesn't like you very much," she reminded Remy, "and I think his dragon would rather bite us than help us."
Hayes:
"I'm hurrying." He upped his pace and the hallways flashed by in a blur. "Couldn't she have brightened up this place a little?" he complained. "Jeez, even a few flowers would be nice."
Cosmo:
He closed his eyes for a moment and focused on his breathing. He was still wheezing quite a bit, but he no longer felt as though he were being strangled. He opened his eyes again and dizzily struggled to sit up.
“I-Is this limbo?” He looked around feverishly, trying to find San. I need San. “Dr. Fenn, please, I need to find him.” Dr. Fenn. Does he think Kira and I are still together? San. Where’s San? No, no, no, I can’t be trapped here. His thoughts were all in a jumble.
(It's perfectly okay. :) Dotr is not going anywhere.)
Katra:
She sighed, having her own thoughts on that. Maybe they could save Elli without Haydi? Or maybe it would be a disaster if they tried. Whatever the case, the medic being here wasn't helping. "You may leave." She waved her hand.
Medic:
She didn't need to be told twice. She left.
Remy:
He came out right away.
Hayes:
He switched back into his normal voice. "What can I say, Lander? I'm an actor at heart." He ran his fingers over the map and memorized it. "I should be there in a few minutes."
(Uh oh...alrighty.)
Cosmo:
He was laying on the ground somewhere, his head throbbing and heart pounding. His hand was still pressed against his chest. It was a little easier to breathe now, but he couldn't help but cough.
He looked to the side. "Dr. Fenn?" he said weakly. "San...?" He said the name very delicately, as if scared that it would blow away.
(I'll try to do it tomorrow! But knowing me it will probably be next week XD!)
Haydi
He lay back, looking defeated at the thought, "if my wife and baby are dead, it's going to be..." he didn't finish that, "I want the Medic out of here." He wanted Remy back by his side.
Lander
He just about burst out laughing, "dad, that was far too believable." The control pad showed him a map of how to get there.
(Well this just got a whole lot more interesting... Cosmo, I hope you are up for quite the uh... adventure...)
Dr. Fenn:
He saw the new boy appear. Curly haired and and probably about 20 years old. He approached him.
(I agree! The post doesn’t seem to be getting glitchy, but it has been a year and a fresh start would be nice!)
Katra:
“If you go, you could very well die,” she said bluntly. “We don’t have any miracle healers around here. You only have one life. Please use it wisely.”
Remy:
He stared at his hands. If he had some parem, he could be a miracle healer. If he had some parem, nothing could stop him from charging into the Nightwalker base and taking Elli back. No. There must be another way.
Hayes:
“That ratty crew person is on the bridge, hopefully flying us to a hospital of some kind.” He broke into a jog. It felt good to get his body moving again. “Knowing her, she would just give me the longest route possible for the laughs of it.”
He stopped at a control pad and switched to his best imitation of Fotarah’s voice. It wasn’t all that bad! “Tell me how to get to the stormtrooper sleeping quarters!” he ordered the thing.
Cosmo:
He got to his feet and swayed dangerously before finding his footing. He staggered somewhat forwards, and certainly not in a straight line, with both hands pressed against his throbbing chest. The delusion San walked with him but did not offer any more help.
He couldn’t get the dizziness to go away. One misstep, and he fell to the ground. He coughed roughly and spent a few precious moments finding his breath again before he looked around to see where he had landed, only a few paces from the bed. There, within reach, was something familiar. He picked up San’s helmet, which he had dropped earlier. The needle was still within the helmet. Though it had been washed out by the floodwaters, some of San’s blood and the poison may still remain.
He smiled weakly and some blood trickled down from his mouth. Will this take me to where you are? I'm already down for the count. This wouldn't make things worse.
His eyes twitched as he stared at the hand... or lack there of. He thought of his wife and how she was gone... pregnant and in the hands of someone dangerous. He couldn't help her... he didn't know where she was and time was running out. What if he never found her? What if she was already dead? What if their baby was stolen upon being born and then they kill his beautiful wife? Would he ever be able to find his child?
He gritted his teeth and said, "I don't have time for deadly. I don't have time for liquid food or bed rest. I need to go."
Lander
He knew San would be very upset if Hayes threw the armor away, but they didn't know if it was contaminated, "where is that crew member? Maybe you could ask her?"
"That is precisely the problem. If that wound gets infected, it could be deadly. Stay still, Haydi. Let us help you."
Hayes:
"I'm wearing gloves; I'll be alright." He was aware that he was likely breathing in trace amounts, however. "At least I don't need to throw away San's armor...I think." He glanced over at the pile of beskar plates that Cosmo had carried in.
Cosmo was staring vacantly at something, and he supposed that wasn't a horrible sign, so he left the med bay and started down the halls.
"Now if I can only find my way back to where you are. This place is a maze."
Cosmo:
He waited for Hayes to leave the room before he tried to sit up. The delusion San extended his hand to help him, but he simply couldn't touch the nonexistent hand.
His hand was trembling as he pulled the oxygen mask away from his face. I need to find answers.
"Look at your hand. Really look at it. Tell me then if you think you are fine," she said with a hard edge to her voice.
Remy:
He squeezed his eyes shut, contemplating whether he should try to stop Haydi and reveal himself, or stay hidden and do nothing.
Hayes:
"He wasn't easy to grab, but I did grab him. I was just pulling him up to Terila's office when everything fell to shambles." He kicked San's clothes into a pile on the side of the room. "San's clothes are contaminated with cyanide. I'll have to throw them out."
Cosmo:
The delusion San only smiled placidly. “I know you are smart enough to figure out what this is once you put the pieces together. I believe in you.” It quoted from the letter Cosmo had gotten with the mysterious brooch.
‘Put the pieces together’. Why can’t I solve the riddle? Why can’t I find that one future where San and I both have a life? I know why. I can’t put the pieces together because I am in pieces. My lungs left me a long time ago, my heart is beating in the body of one deeply unconscious, my hands are cold, so cold.
"I'm fine." He muttered, his mind buzzing. He wanted out. "Unhook me or I'm ripping it all out."
Lander
"You were tasked with delivering him? Was he easy to grab? Now... he'd follow you." He looked down, "I'll wait for you- uh what are you doing with his clothes?"
She didn't try to stop Haydi. She had no obligation to, and he was taking up space in the med bay.
Katra:
She felt horrible. There was a part of her that remembered the time when Haydi was her commanding officer, when she was supposed to listen to his commands - but that wasn't the case any longer.
"No. Lie back down; you are hurt." If he moved much more, he might pull out the IV.
Hayes:
He was glad that Lander had acknowledged that San might not wake up with the telltale 'if' instead of 'when'.
"He's attacked me before, but that was a long time ago. The first time I met him, I was tasked with delivering him to Terila. I could do that easily now." He pulled off the rest of San's clothes with gloved hands, then covered him with the sheet. "I'll come and get you." He was worried for Lander.
Cosmo:
He turned his face slightly and met the gaze of the delusion San. He searched within those green expanses for the strength to fight. His hazel eyes were foggy with guilt, tears, and pain.
Teach me how to love. Teach me how to breathe. Teach me how to live again.
He was gritting his teeth, eyeing her. When Katra took the medics side though, his eyes flashed to hers. It wasn't a look of anger, more like a look of betrayal. "I'm leaving." He attempted to get up. He was sure no medical attention would be plenty painful.
Lander
He let that thought swim around in his brain for a moment, a long silence passing between them before he said, "if San ever wakes up, I can assure you that you will hear quite a mouthful from him once he knows you saw... everything. That or he'll turn beet red and refuse to ever speak of it. It's for the best though and I think out of most of the people in his life, you are one he would at least not attack." He smirked through the pain, "maybe."
(Likely a plus... but still. It's both nice and very alarming!)
"This is about your medical health and I am your medic. The way I see it, you just answer me."
Katra:
She sighed. "Please answer the medic, Haydi." She didn't like having to take the medic's side.
Hayes:
"I have no idea why you aren't in the same state as him, but frankly, I'm grateful for that." He was cutting San's pant legs now, doing what he could to give him privacy. "I'm undressing San because of cyanide contamination, but there is not anything to see here. That's how bad this is, that San is doing nothing to stop me, and his friend isn't doing much better."
(At least they are going to see a doctor?)
Cosmo:
"No, no," he gasped, turning from side to side on the bed. "No, no, no!" The violent action sent jabs of pain up his chest, but he was already in pain enough that it didn't matter.
The delusional San gently placed his hands on Cosmo's shoulder and waist, holding him still.
"Nah. Not really in the mood. He glared at the medic.
(Lander: *deep thinking time*)
Lander
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. His lungs screamed at him, but he could still breathe. "Dad... why am I not in the same state as him? What are you seeing?"
She eyed Haydi skeptically. If he was trying to find a way to hurt himself, he likely wouldn't admit to it easily.
Medic:
"Then why don't you give me one of those reasons?"
(That's a good question Lander...of which I have no idea, unless San's spirit is in a different body.)
Hayes:
"D***," he hissed, seeing the numerous scars that marked San's body. He got a certain amount of pleasure from the knowledge that he had protected Lander from ever receiving those scars.
"It's is pretty ******* bad. I think he is comatose." He paused. "Idiot," he muttered, though it was unclear whether he was calling San an idiot, or himself an idiot for caring so much.
Cosmo:
With the help of the oxygen mask, he was able to find his breath again. The delusion San had grown stronger. To him, it was almost more real than the real San.
“I forgive you,” the apparition said, in the same voice San had said it earlier.
"There is plenty of reason for that, you are just a doctor so you can't say so." He snapped before trying to draw himself back in a bit.
Lander
He winced, "is he really that bad?" He was afraid. He was afraid that if San were to die, it would take him down with him... he didn't want to die... but also, his symptoms almost always copied San's identically. Why was this time different?
"Haydi. There is no reason to put yourself through more pain than you need to." Was he trying to punish himself? For having not saved his wife yet?
Remy:
He wished that he could take some of the pain. After all he had done, he felt like he deserved to.
Hayes:
Some of those symptoms would describe cyanide poisoning. "I won't lie; that's not good," he said after a moment, "but at least you are well enough to speak. That's more than I can say for San. He's a breathing corpse."
He cut down San's shirt, beginning to get over the awkwardness and focus more on getting the task done quickly.
Cosmo:
He wanted to talk to this delusion San. There was something he wanted to tell him, but what was it? He opened his mouth a bit and tried to get the words to come out, but he had no breath to give them passage. "Saaah-" he managed before he fell into another coughing fit.
“Shhh. Don’t try to speak. It’s hurting you,” he heard the delusion San say. “Your silence speaks a thousand words.”
"I think I can deal with pain. Doesn't hurt as bad if it's invited in."
(Cosmo... )
San
If he knew what Hayes was doing, he'd likely need an entire essay explaining the need for it, but as of now, he had no clue.
Lander
He took a shaky breath and tried to focus on any of the symptoms, "my body hurts... lungs are itching and burning. I'm having trouble seeing and I can't hear you too well... can't move... pounding headache."
"The only food you will be eating for a while is food that you can slurp or food that is pumped directly into you. Other food could be a pain for your body right now."
Remy:
Once this was all over, he resolved to take Haydi to this really good looking restaurant he had seen as a ghost.
Cosmo:
It hurt so much to breathe, but he forced himself to in what gasps, wheezes, and shaky breaths he could manage. He delusionally took his imagined San in his mind to be reality. He imagined it brushing the sweat-soaked hair out of eyes and clasping his hand. Though none of it was real, at least it was calming him down somewhat.
He was no longer clear-minded enough to realize how close death walked.
Hayes:
He warily approached San with the scissors and a sheet to give him as much privacy as he could. He felt bad about doing this, but it needed to be done. "How are you feeling, Lander? Anything that would resemble cyanide poisoning?"
He set the bottom of the scissors against San's arm and began to cut up from the unconscious man's sleeve. It wasn't easy to cut through the shirt material.
@Morningmist@Windfeather@Firesong (I'm putting together a really long answer for all of your questions, it may take a while. If you have any more, please reply to this comment:)
@Morningmist (Sorry! I'm trying to write a really long comment answering all your guys' questions all at once and clarifying stuff. It may take a bit, sorry!)
(Hey guys! So do you remember that time I asked you if I could turn the plot of this role play and the characters into a series of books with my sister Stormflight? I'd just like to check if that's still okay, and if there was anything you wanted to specify?)
Hmm...I don't feel okay with that. You could have a force user bring a loved one back, but I would want the similarities to end there unless the project became a collaboration.
If you felt like using Wynter in your story, I would ask that you use the shadows for a different purpose than what I used them for or change them to another power.
I get that! I'm sure that there has been a lot that I have forgotten as well. Dotr has been going on since January of 2021! Wow.
Please do not use Aria, Arien, Aeriel, Ariadne, Cosmo, Cosima, Emver, Efaire, Faylin, Flint, Gavin, Hayes, Katra, Lyrinx, Lavinia, Lavia, Miriya, Mayella, Mehb, Mabel/Shade, Nova, Nyxi, Onio, Odile, Prixia, Paola, Quint, Rick, Raz, Remy, The Spinach Inquisitor, Thaylia, Tullio, Valure, and Zach in any respect.
I would relinquish my rights to Esmerelda (Trez's wife), Elana (someone in a family tree), Firey (Lory's husband), Fryze (someone in a family tree), Gizmo (reformed stormtrooper), Henry (Miranda's love), Jace (a mean person who died), Jade (a mean person who died), Kara (Chex's sister), Logan (someone in a family tree), Lory, Lily (Miranda's sister), Miranda, Maya (Kist), Reon, Rosemaria (an orphan; friend of Gavin), Starla (someone in a family tree), Tolin, Tarmalane (ruthless leader of Salamander Guild), Torni (Nova's Jedi Master), Vella (a young girl owned by Miranda) and Wren (Esmerelda's child). You can use those characters however you would like.
@Morningmist (Quickie reply! I don't think I communicated what I mean clearly enough - are you thinking elements of Nova's story that would be similar? I was mostly referring to aspects of her personality. I think there was a misunderstanding? But you also have a good point if I'm understanding you correctly.)
@Iceberry (Oh! I am not comfortable with you incorporating Nova's personality into the story. Nothing about Nova besides the concept of bringing someone back to life if you need that for your story.)
She looked at Haydi, unimpressed. "Are you wanting to go on a hunger strike? For what cause?" she asked wryly.
Katra:
She wanted to smack her face with her hand.
Cosmo:
He had been moving his hand up to remove the mask, but at Hayes's words, his fingers hesitated. His mother's words came back to him, that his love for San would kill him one day if he continued to pursue him. His hand stilled on his chest and he closed his eyes again.
He pictured San in his mind between his jagged breaths. He imagined that San was holding his hand, directing him to breathe.
"HhaaAaahH," he exhaled unsteadily.
Hayes:
That was one crisis averted. Plenty more crises to go. He looked down at the scissors in his hand and decided to delay that task a little bit. He called Lander instead, to check up on him.
He laid back against the cool tile ground and listened as the door opened and the medic came back in.
Katra:
"We were hoping for some food delivery service?" she ventured.
Medic:
She looked over at Haydi. "Do you mind having food in its liquid form, inserted into your body? Because that's what you are going to get."
Hayes:
This crazy man wasn't coming back. He needed to try something else.
Cosmo:
He squeezed San's hand with his now healing fingers and gripped the dirt with his other hand. His fingers were slipping; he was being pulled back towards life.
Where are you? Are you even further than limbo…dead? I’d follow you anywhere, San, even if it’s to the darkest pit of my dreams. He stopped breathing. 1...2...3. How long can you live without breathing? 4...20...60...90...His eyelashes fluttered.
Breath forced its way into his lungs and he found himself back on the med bay bed again. His chest hurt like crazy. He gasped and wheezed.
Hayes:
He'd managed to find an oxygen mask in the clutter, and it seemed to be helping. He stood over the bed, scissors still in hand. "That's it. Learn how to breath again. I know it hurts, but we can't give up. You have deems in your eyes, I can see it. Hold onto those dreams and never let them go."
He'd found his dream. Terila, Lander, Rick, and Pazali. They left him sometimes, but they were all he wished they would be.
@Iceberry (Hi! I remembered you saying that you liked the Stargate series? I was talking recently with someone who is currently watching it! Apparently there are some references to a different sci-fi show that I watch, Farscape, within Stargate.
The same actor who plays Cameron in Stargate plays John Criton in Farscape. John is an astronaut who travels through a wormhole to a different part of the galaxy! Also, the same actor who plays Vala in Stargate plays Aeryn Sun in Farscape. Aeryn is a former Peacekeeper, a military force of people that conquer planets. I'm sure that their roles are much different in Stargate!
The episode "200" in Stargate has a Farscape parody within it! I found it all very neat.
@Morningmist (Sorry this took so long! I actually recently finished two books: a middle grade novel about a mixed race Alaskan girl in 1910 called The Star That Always Stays and a book called The Science of Murder, about Agatha Christie and her mystery novels and the methods she used in them. I also read The Scarlet Pimpernel a little longer ago, an old classic thats not hard to read at all - HIGHLY recommend.
@Iceberry (Those sound interesting! I have not read any of Agatha Christie's work yet, but I have heard good things about it. I recently read Dune, which is a classic science fiction book. There were some parts that I didn't feel aged very well, but I liked it overall! I've also been reading a lot of stories by Isaac Asimov, another science fiction writer, like "Someday", "Nightfall" and "The Last Question". I also read "The Metamorphosis" by Kafka for school recently, and that was a lot of fun!)
"I have been able to get myself into many tight places." He wedged himself over the bed and just managed to fit.
Katra:
She moved some blankets to hide the underneath of the bed.
(He's trying to believe you but isn't really sure that he does!)
Cosmo:
He felt a stab of pain in his calf and he gasped and cried harder. He clutched San's hand and coughed blood onto the leaves beanth them. He knew that he didn't have much time.
"S-San," he gasped. His chest constricted and it was hard to breathe. The pain from earlier was coming back, and he knew it. There was so much he wanted to say. "I...love you." He closed his eyes and struggled to find his connection to San. He held onto it and struggled to remain in limbo. Where are you? "Come back..."
Hayes:
He pulled the instrument back, wet with blood, and watched Cosmo shake. "Come on. Come back." He didn't realize that Cosmo was saying the same thing.
"I can ask, but Remy, you need to be out of sight." She looked towards the door. "Talk quieter, too. Anyone here could recognize your voice."
Remy:
He knelt down. "I think I could squeeze beneath the bed." The benefits of being small!
(Don't worry! I won't kill him, and this isn't payback. Cosmo is just in a really dark place thought wise right now.)
Cosmo:
He breathed in sharply, even though his gut was stinging. Had he dreamed it? No. That had definitely been San's voice just then.
His eyes watered and he took San's hand. "I-I don't deserve..." He squashed that thought but couldn't hold back his tears. He squeezed San's hand like he had done earlier and sobbed. "San." He could feel his dreams shattering. "Y-you deserve..."
Hayes:
"**** it." He was running out of ideas here, and if Cosmo didn't wake up soon, he was a goner. It already seemed to be too late for San.
He grabbed a pointy medical instrument. "You'd better wake up with this time," he muttered, before stabbing Cosmo in the calf with it.
Star Wars Darkness on the Rise: The End | theguardianherd
@Firesong @Windfeather @Iceberry
Hi guys! I've noticed that this role play has been very slow lately, and the same could be said of the message board. I think that we are all starting to outgrow this place, finding new joys and new ways to spend our time, and that is alright!
Darkness on the Rise has been going on for almost three years. We have made so many memories here! Dotr had helped me grow as a writer. I'm connected to these characters and I'm connected to this plot. Most role plays die without receiving a true ending, but that doesn't need to happen with Dotr.
I would like to find a way to tie up some of the loose strings to the plots we had going on here, if all of you also agree. We could role play the ending, or we could also just discuss what would happen.
A long time ago (and perhaps in a galaxy far far away 😉), Iceberry and Stormflight designed an ending for Dotr. We would have to change a good deal of it, as so much has happened since then, but we could potentially use attributes of what they wrote here if people would like.
https://www.theguardianherd.com/messageboard/herd-chat/calling-all-darkness-on-the-rise-peeps?origin=member_posts_page
Do you guys have any thoughts?
Katra:
“He’s a child. He is seventeen years old. He has hardly had the time to get experienced. Even I felt misgivings at first.”
Hayes:
“Please do.” He tapped his foot anxiously. “Ask Nova to as well.” Surely if the two did it together, they would be able to avoid getting stuck and ending up in similar...comatose situations?
Cosmo:
“And when are emotions a blessing?” he asked brokenly. The sickening sense of dread he felt right now made him want to ask Dr. Fenn to sedate him until it was all over. “What are you going to do? Watch as San goes through his most vulnerable moments?” He couldn’t stop himself from shaking. “Please, Doctor. Please, you have to help him.”
Haydi
"Rick or whatever seems plenty responsible to me...?"
Sash
He hesitated then nodded, "I think I could try?"
Dr. Fenn
"No one is asking you to be like San or act like him... you can close your eyes and plug your ears, but the time is going drag you along..." he wished he could release him... he really did but Cosmo put the helmet on. "Emotions can also be a blessing, Cosmo."
Katra:
"The guild is in a shaky place right now. Everyone is still trying to get used to the fact that the guild leader is well...a child. It's a time of distrust."
Hayes:
"Aren't you connected to San because of the whole helmet thing? Can you feel anything through there?"
Cosmo:
He shook his head wordlessly, causing tears to cut a zig-zag pattern down his face. "I'm not like San. I'm not a strong hero. I am reaching my limit on how much pain I can tolerate."
It wasn't that he wanted to refuse to see San's traumas; he wanted to help San overcome those memories. It was that he wasn't mentally well enough to see those memories in real time, without knowing there was an end in sight.
"I've heard what some Mandos say about me. They say that I'm too weak. I'm too emotional. And...it's true. San could stay strong and do this." His voice broke. "I can't."
Haydi
He frowned, "seems they have grown quick to judge in the decade I've been away."
Sash
He fell silent for a moment, "you may be on to something, but I don't know if we are here? I don't feel anything?"
Dr. Fenn
"I know... but the only way we can do that, is if we get him out."
Katra:
"You're injured, yes, but you are also a mystery to them. You haven't served here for more than a decade. They think that since you left, you changed sides. Hayes isn't in good favor right now, either so that doesn't do anything for you."
Hayes:
He wished he had gotten the chance to know Nova better. "She's grieving for her mother, too. She's grieving for all that could have been." He cleared his throat. "Nova smashed one of San's helmets to bring you back. I thought that maybe that would tie you two into this in some way?"
Cosmo:
"A dream, maybe, but torture nevertheless." Nightmares had a way of sticking with you, and even influencing the person you became. He shivered, feeling like the jaws of an iron cage were squeezing his heart, like an animal trap catching a creature's leg.
"What I need to see is my San. I need to see him alive and well. I need him to see me, to really see me, to see the heart of who I am."
Haydi
He furrowed his brows, "not saying that's entirely out of character, but how rude of them to jump to conclusions. Don't they know I'm an injured man?"
Sash
He looked towards a window and smiled slightly, "there are a few things I know, and that is that she's the strongest woman I've ever met, and that Nasa treated her very well. I don't blame her for that. I couldn't. " he rubbed his face and turned his attention back to Hayes, "was there something specific about Nova you wanted to know? Do you think she's connected to the helmet in any way?"
Dr. Fenn
"I don't think he will remember much of what happens here... he might but I doubt it. If he does I believe it would be more like a dream? It may be something you need to see."
Katra:
"No. They were mostly concerned about the nurse who was screaming." She huffed. "Actually, they thought you were hurting the nurse."
Hayes:
He shook his head. "I'm sorry about that, Sash. Give Nova some time to grieve. I've seen how much she cares about you." He knew what it was like to grieve.
Cosmo:
He didn't move Dr. Fenn's hands away. Though he was shivering, he wasn't cold. If anything, he was a little hot. His body wasn't reacting well to all of this news. He finally managed to stop coughing and felt somewhat out of breath.
"You mean stopping the trauma from happening?" He wheezed a bit. "But you said he'd have to face it again anyway."
He wanted to hear the mature San's voice he knew. He wanted to be wrapped up in those arms and held tight. When San had been there, he felt alive.
Haydi
"Did they know he was in here?"
Sash
"I don't know... I wish I understood what was wrong here... Nova uh... she broke up with me officially though. I thought maybe you would want to know that, but it's not going to help those men.
Dr. Fenn
He put his hands on his shoulders, "but your San is here... this is what made the loving man you know... maybe you need to see who he would have been without all he had gone through."
Katra:
"For now," she said a bit sharply. "They weren't happy about it." Remy was a bit of a hazard here.
Hayes:
"Anything that could help here?" He would be really angry if San dragged Lander down with him.
Cosmo:
Dr. Fenn's comparison between San and a bomb made him think of Calore. Calore was a real human bomb, designed to go off in a burst of flesh and blood.
He flopped onto his back, lying there on the carpet with his hands on his chest, which was feeling tight again.
"San finds ways to save those he loves, and yet, I can't seem to do the same for him. I have never been strong enough." His voice was shaking, shaking, a volcano about to erupt. "There has been so much pain and death. I can't imagine glitter anymore." He closed his eyes, but tears still streamed down his cheeks anyway. "San is my safety, but my San isn’t here!"
He shivered violently and started to cough.
Haydi
Did he glaring work?? "Are they gone?"
Sash
He shut his eyes and sighed, "I know a little bit..."
Dr. Fenn
He was aware of the situation and this man's failing state of sanity, "the weight of war is a hard one to bear... and you fell for a man who placed himself right at the front of it because he was sold and found such a solace in saving those he loved..." he looked into Comso's eyes and found the brokenness inside, "love drives us crazy, but love also is our safety. This man is a bomb... but that doesn't mean the explosion he makes will be filled with pain and death. It could be a glitter bomb."
(A - Katra is unsuccessful
B - Katra is successful)
Remy:
The clamor outside died down and the sound of footsteps walking away could be heard. Katra walked back into the room.
Hayes:
"The helmet did something to them, and maybe the cyanide, too." He sighed. "I was hoping you knew something about that d*** helmet? Or Nova?"
Cosmo:
He felt something snap within him. "You call this living?" His voice was edging on hysteria. "To see your love suffer through one pain after another, all while being incapable of doing anything other than making things worse? To feel so horribly empty inside because you are grabbing at loose strings? Ha, Dr. Fenn, I've never felt quite so dead."
Haydi
He glared at the door as if that would or could do anything.
(Hmmmm B?)
Sash
He hardly knew how to take that, "are they going to be ok... what... how?"
Dr. Fenn
"I really hope not much... I believe there will be a place where both of you will find peace and thus joy in your lives... neither of you are even halfway through life."
Remy:
He hugged Haydi tighter as the bickering continued outside. Katra was arguing fiercely, but he didn't know if words would be enough to protect them.
(A or B?)
Hayes:
He heard that. Nova must have given Sash the couch. Sorry, Sash.
"Cosmo and San both seem to be...well...a little too still at the moment. They're alive, but comatose, it seems."
Cosmo:
He slid down the wall and set down the journal and the stuffy, unable to quash his panic this time. He could feel himself on the verge of something terrible, wobbling on a precipice hundreds of feet in the air. He pulled things out of his pockets, desperate to find something, anything, that could get San and him out of here. His inhaler. The sapphire brooch. The letter. Two lightsabers: one Fotarah’s and one Azar’s. A comm with no signal. A packet of hot chocolate powder. No! He pressed his hands against the floor and breathed harder.
“Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them,” he whispered.
“How much more suffering will San and I have to endure before we are...are happy?” He could feel a weight behind his eyes.
(Excerpt from one of Hamlet's monologues!)
Haydi
He held him close and gave him a tight hug. He wanted to protect him. He just didn't know how...
Sash
He hesitated, "y-yes... fa- Hayes? What's going on?"
Dr. Fenn
"The person who created this is not here... and now that you put yourself in here, there is no way for you to get out or contact anyone outside without seeing this through... I don't think they considered this to be a thing that would happen..."
Remy:
"A hug is much appreciated." He carefully gave Haydi a hug, making sure to avoid pulling out the IV.
Hayes:
He put the dots together. "A helmet?" Cosmo had been clutching that thing like his life depended on it when he had arrived.
Cosmo:
He let out a short breath and shook his head. "No. San is more than an object to be used; he is a living, breathing being. He went through more trauma than I'll ever know from his time as a 5-year-old to his time as a teen. I am not going to make him go through that suffering again."
He still had San's cat stuffed animal. He held it with lightly shaking hands. "Where is the person who created this?"
Haydi
"How about just a hug?" He whispered with a kind smile.
Sash
He didn't know what to say when he was cornered with that, "he was... looking for something? I...I think?"
Dr. Fenn
"There isn't another way." He said softly, "you may at least want to get him to a teen? He may be more useful that way instead of a five year old?"
Remy:
He smiled a little bit. "Okay. I wish I could turn invisible, though." He paused. "No, I don't, actually. Being a ghost was not fun."
Hayes:
Great! Sash was here. Now how to ask him about all of...this. "You were talking to Cosmo a bit ago, weren't you? Do you have any idea how the **** he was poisoned with cyanide?"
Cosmo:
He was starting to feel sick just thinking about it. San had shared the memory of what Azar had done with him. That memory hurt so very much, and these other memories of San's weren't so much better.
He tried not to panic. "We'll just have to find another way out of this trap, then."
Haydi
"Hands or not, I work out. I'm strong and not going to let you go."
Sash
He picked up and felt just the slightest bit confused, but it was his... the man who had been his father in law? "Hello?"
Dr. Fenn
"I can not tell you what to do... you can certainly try it? I believe it will just cause you to see what would have been had those event not happened to him. I think you will still have to face them in order to get out."
Remy:
He watched as Katra stepped outside the room. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but angry voices flitted around outside.
"But, Haydi, your hands," he whispered.
Hayes:
He called Sash and remained out in the hallway. He didn't want to bring Lander until the med bay quite yet. Lander hadn't given a complete answer as to whether he would be okay seeing San or not.
Cosmo:
"Torture," he breathed, his legs suddenly feeling weak again. He leaned against the wall more heavily than before. "What if I stopped it? If I stopped Ryndi and Denu from giving San away, if I fought back Azar before he even dared touch San with his blade, if I prevented Hida from taking the bait?"
His face paled. "I'm not expected to just watch San go through all that pain without doing anything, am I?"
Haydi
"Don't tell me what I can or can not do..." he whispered and reached for Remy, "they can't rip you from my arms."
Lander
"I know you are right..."
Dr. Fenn
He looked at him. "Not about saving them, but getting lost in them. It's a form of torture... they person who designed this is hoping he can't face them... in that aspect, San isn't special. No one wants to face what they have tried so hard to forget."
Katra:
"No," she snapped. "Haydi, you're hurt. You can't be protecting anyone right now." She looked back and forth between the unconscious nurse and the door, then angrily strode towards it.
"I'll see what I can do."
Remy:
He stayed by Haydi, his fingers twitching at his side. These people were so afraid of him.
Hayes:
He pulled out his comm. "I care about Sash, but we simply can't care about worrying him when lives may be on the line. If he doesn't know, at least we tried."
Cosmo:
He held his notebook tightly at his side and stood up as well. He was a bit shaky, but the wall helped immensely. "Is this about facing childhood traumas?" He could help with that, but again, he wasn't sure if San felt comfortable sharing his traumas with him.
Haydi
He nodded and glanced over at the door. "Remy... come here. Now. I'm going to protect you."
Lander
"Do we want to worry him...? What if he doesn't know?"
Dr. Fenn
"A good plan," he said as he stood up, "I like it. Thing is San reds to do the brunt of the work and currently he is five years old. Anything he chooses to block, he can... but he can't get out until he faces them."
Katra:
She picked the nurse up from the floor and set her in a nearby chair. "She's still breathing. Luckily."
(A - No one heard the nurse or no one thinks it is worth investigating.
B - People heard the nurse and think it is worth investigating)
Remy:
He could hear the pitter-patter of feet and swallowed hard. "They heard her."
Hayes:
"Cosmo was talking to Sash when I found him and San in their ship. I suppose Sash might know." He didn't want to tell Sash about how horrible Cosmo and San looked right now, though.
Cosmo:
"This must be some type of limbo." He paged through his notebook and landed on the page where he had written the various riddles. He'd put so many notes in the margins that they were all blurring together. He sighed and closed the notebook.
"I've been trapped in a place like this before." He knew that Arien was gone, but he still remembered that world of dark crystalline glass where only Rick could see him. "Places like these, they get to you. The sooner we all get out, the better."
Haydi
"Just make sure she's breathing and then we won't have a problem."
(Hmmm... B?)
Lander
He nodded, staring straight ahead, "do we know who did this...?"
Dr. Fenn
He smiled softly and looked around, "I haven't been able to escape Shadow since I first began working for him... once I let my end, I still wasn't able to escape him... he has some hold on my being on deaths side so here I am. As for where we are, I wish I knew? It's somewhere between life and earth, but where, I'm not sure?"
Katra:
She hit the nurse solidly in the head. The nurse fell to the ground, unconscious.
"You asked me to do that," she said, defending her actions.
Remy:
His pulse was racing as he glanced at the door.
(A or B?)
Hayes:
He didn't pick up the helmet. He realized that he'd forgotten something important. "Cyanide might have been on that thing," he muttered. "We'll have to clean our hands."
The helmet may have been what brought the two men into their comas, but the cyanide had certainly been giving Cosmo a fun time earlier.
Cosmo:
"Okay." He took a deep breath and relished the feeling of actually being able to breathe. "So where exactly are we? Is this some closed-off portion of limbo? Why are you here?"
Haydi
He glared at the nurse, "shut her up." He said to Kate's, "before she summons the entire ship."
Lander
"I can... I can feel the past in this thing..." he slammed it to the ground and far away from him.
Dr. Fenn.
He nodded knowingly, "I suppose a five years old can't consent to what you will learn, but you will find him at some age where he can consent to you being there."
Nurse:
"Help, oh help!" She was making a ruckus.
Remy.
He edged towards Haydi's bed, his eyes wide and frightened.
Katra:
"I order you to be quiet!" she tried. The nurse didn't shut up.
Hayes:
He watched Lander. Why was his son tearing up at a piece of metal? "What is it?"
Cosmo:
It was far easier to breathe now that his heart felt lighter. The world did not seem to be choking him as it was before. He traced his finger along the drawing of San, from what felt like so long ago.
"San is more than just my friend. I don't like learning this much about his past without his consent, but I suppose that it can't be helped." He wanted San to have a choice the matter.
Haydi
He eyed the nurse, "Remy, come here. Now." He wanted to be sure he could protect him.
Lander
His eyes filled with tears but the didn't fall. He flipped the helmet over, looking at it everywhere he could. "Gosh..."
Dr. Fenn
"I know so. He's not too far gone... and if you are willing to breathe, then you may even be able to help him... but you may learn more than you ever wished to know about your friend."
Nurse:
That boy really was Remy! "Ahhh!" She screamed louder and clutched her arm. "Don't hurt me!"
Katra:
She hesitated, unsure if she should hit the nurse to shut her up.
Remy:
He was more scared of the nurse than she was of him.
Hayes:
"It's a creepy thing. I wouldn't be surprised." He didn't like Mandalorian helmets anyway.
Cosmo:
He felt hopeful for the first time since he had been here. "You know so?" He flipped his journal open and immediately came to a drawing of San. "He isn't too far gone yet?"
Haydi
He nodded and then growled, "shhhhh!!"
Lander
He held it in his hand and looked at the inside... "this did it..."
Dr. Fenn
This is where he offered Cosmo a reassuring look, "everything that is happening here can be reversed... or I guess technically moved forward?"
Katra:
Here was Haydi's distraction, as ordered. She stepped in front of Remy, but it was too late.
Nurse:
"Aaah!" She screamed. She hadn't been working at the guild for long, but she had heard the scary Remy stories that the older doctors to keep the newer ones in line.
'Beware of Remy!' they would say with the dramatization that a normal ghost story would get. 'He wanders these halls still, searching for his next victim.'
Remy:
He stumbled backwards into the wall.
Hayes:
He wanted to let Lander have some agency. "Okay, then." He picked up the helmet and turned it upside down. "Be careful. There is a needle in there." Two people's blood stained the needle now.
He handed the helmet to Lander.
Cosmo:
He pressed a hand to his heart and felt it beating. There hadn't been many other times where he had felt quite this...dead. "Please, be honest with me. Do I have a chance of saving San at all? Or finding a way to catch him up to speed with who he once was? How much have I butchered things up?"
Haydi
"If I can't get up... I need something to distract me..." and he really did. With the painkillers running through him and the lack of limb, he felt a little crazy. His gaze snapped over to the intruder.
Lander
"I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty darn close." He looked at his dad, "please. Just let me see it."
Dr. Fenn
He let a moment of silence pass between them before he finally said, "your life, Cosmo. With your heart still beating, so much can be fixed. A man can be returned to his memories. A woman you care for deeply can forgive you."
Remy:
He followed Haydi's gaze and felt his stomach turn inside out.
Katra:
"I'm sorry," she said. "Once you are stable enough, they should let you get up.
Nurse:
She was new to working in Dragon's Bane Guild's med bay. She chose this moment to walk into the private room that had Haydi and his party in it. She thought that it was a storage closet.
Hayes:
Could this be San's helmet? Or was it the other one over there that was painted the same? "I need more than just what you think, Lander."
Cosmo:
He was still looking at the ground, but grief painted a solemn picture over his face. "I've lost the two people that raised me. I've lost Kira. Things are strained between us, and we don't feel comfortable around the other. The family we tried to make is gone. I've lost the clan. They think I'm took weak and focused on San to rule, and they're right. I'm losing my life: a poison was wrecking my body in the real world." He lifted his gaze a bit and looked towards the room he knew San to be in. "I've lost my companionship with San. He's forgotten me. I've lost the future I dreamed of with him."
He finally met Dr. Fenn's eyes. "What do I have left?"
Haydi
"I just wanted an excuse to get up." He muttered as he stared at the stump at the end of his arm.
Lander
"I don't the ink it can hurt me unless I let it." He whispered, studying the piece of metal.
Dr. Fenn
He looked at the man's face, "can you tell me what you've lost?"
Katra:
"That would be, but that doesn't mean that one of us can't do it." She realized that just meant her. Remy shouldn't be wandering through the halls of this place.
Hayes:
"Eer...no." He didn't even dare pick up the helmet. "Unless you are very sure that it wouldn't hurt you." Cosmo had said that it had been part of the reason San had fallen into that coma.
Cosmo:
He didn't try to stop Dr. Fenn from helping him. He knew that he needed the help. "Should I have given up? I feel as though I have lost everything." He knew that he still had Sash, Flint and now Dr. Fenn, he supposed, but he wasn't very close to any of them yet. Right now, he needed someone who he'd feel comfortable crying in the arms of, someone who he loved, someone whose words he trusted without a doubt.
Haydn
He pursed his lips, "would chasing them around the ship be against my resting agreement?"
Lander
He stared at the helmet, "can I see that?" He whispered. He felt drawn to it... but it felt more like the draw one has to the adrenaline rush. Dangerous.
Dr. Fenn
"Then you have given up." He said gently, "I had been rooting for you... once my son, always my son. Even if you never knew me." He sat on Cosmo's other side and began taking out supplies in order to help his arm.
Katra:
"The Nightwalker we captured, Vaydek. He escaped along with the other prisoner, the young scientist girl Sallou." She was not happy about this development in the slightest.
Hayes:
He knelt down and pulled the helmet off Cosmo, then pressed his fingers against the man's neck. "He is breathing," he said after a moment. "It's faint though, like San. The cyanide poisoning could have put him into a coma."
Cosmo:
"Given up? It depends on what you mean. I haven't given up on saving San; I just have no idea how to pursue that right now. I haven't given up on keeping my promise to San; I won't abandon him and will help him."
He stared at the beads of ruby red running down his arm. He didn't bother to hide it. This was him unconsciously crying for help. "What I've given up on are my dreams and the pursuit of my happiness." What had once been dreams were now nightmares: not because they were scary, but because he knew they were things he could never have and that hurt so much.
Haydi
"Who are we looking for again?"
Lander
He stared at the body and felt lightheaded. Felt like a whisper of San in his mind, "dad... is he...?"
Finn
He glanced at the blood but quickly pretended not to notice it, "have you already given up?" He asked seriously.
Remy:
"Careful usually is best." He swallowed hard. "We need to get that prisoner back, though."
Katra:
"Rick has been alerted. Hopefully some guild soldier will find him."
Hayes:
"I'll just have to push a little harder, then." He shoved his shoulder against the door and was finally able to open it. Cosmo's body, still with San'd helmet on, had been blocking the doorway.
"****. ****!"
Cosmo:
He looked down at the notebook in his lap, which he knew was full of riddles, various sketches, and drawings of San. "'Maybe' isn't enough, but maybe it's going to have to stay." He couldn't get over the fact that San didn't remember him anymore. It burned within his chest and poked at the holes his parents had unintentionally left.
He pulled his hand away from his arm and stared at the five spots of blood of his arm. The physical pain distracted him from his emotional pain, at least for a little. The blood pooled up and tricked down like tears.
Haydi
"Carefully you say??" He raised a brow at her. "Remy, do you agree?"
Lander
He watched, "maybe something is blocking it?" He offered.
Fen
"Maybe he didn't say that because he thought you did something wrong... but because he knew you enough to know you would blame yourself for what happened to him..." he looked back towards the room they had left San in, "I am tied into a lot of what has happened, Cosmo... more than I can say right now."
Katra:
"Think carefully about your choices." She realized now that Haydi may be unable to make rational choices at the moment due to the painkillers.
Her comm buzzed and she looked down at it and bit her lip. "Well, shoot. Our Nightwalker prisoner got out."
Hayes:
"Than I will keep breathing, and so must you." He knew the way now, so finding his way back to the med bay wasn't difficult.
He tried to open the door, but something was jamming it. "D***. What's wrong with this blasted door?"
Cosmo:
He remembered the time on the bench. He remembered how San had finally told him what was going on. It had been a mark of trust. He had made a promise to San, a promise that he was struggling to keep.
His voice lost its tone of anger but still kept the grief. “He trusted me then. I don’t know if he would anymore. ‘I forgive you,’ he said. He knows that I’ve done wrong. He knows that something is wrong with me.” He sat with that for a moment. “But you? How do you know about all of that?”
Haydi
He glared at her for a moment before he relaxed again and calmed down, "that I know I do want to do."
Lander
He smiled again, "well I like it when you breathe too."
Fenn
He just listened until Cosmo had finished. His voice was soft. Void of judgment or anger. "You think someone removed his memories of you and that is what made him happy?" He paused, "shall I remind you of the time on the bench?"
Katra:
She honestly didn't know the answer to that question. "You're an adult; I can't do anything to you. If you want to continue your mission, however, you are going to have to nourish yourself."
Hayes:
"Your every breath affects me, too. I like it when you breathe." It wasn't the same thing as what San and Lander shared, though.
Cosmo:
He looked up suddenly, his hazel eyes flaming with anger. "I'm not a trustworthy man! I led my brother into a trap, and everything I've done has just been thing the noose tighter and tighter around his neck. Something is wrong with me. Don't you dare praise me." His voice was shaking with emotional pain. "I am the wrong choice. I got San into this situation. I messed up so badly that someone had to remove all of San's memories of me to make him happy again."
He laughed bitterly. "My parents always said that I was loyal to a fault. So tell me, Dr. Fenn. Tell me what I've done."
Haydi
"And if in an hour I'm still not hungry, are you just going to force it down my throat regardless?"
Lander
"His every breath effects me." He reminded his dad then hesitated, "At least it did?"
Fenn
He looked at both items before he lightly shook his head, "regardless of who sent those to you, they made a good choice. You are a trustworthy and loyal man, just because you haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean you were the wrong choice."
:)
Katra:
"Give it an hour. You might feel more hungry then." She started to pace. How could they keep Haydi occupied for an hour? Maybe he would like to call someone?
Hayes:
"It's not going to be easy." He awkwardly opened a door with his foot. "It's going to take a lot of time, but if you can just start thinking about this as you helping a guy you are close with instead of yourself, that will make all the difference. Start correcting yourself when you think of it differently."
Cosmo:
He couldn't look at Dr. Fenn right now. He planted his gaze on the floor and dug his nails in further. He was strangely reluctant to ask about what had happened to San. He was terrified to know the answer.
"Were you the one who sent me the letter and the broach?" He took both things out of his pocket and laid them on the ground. "I'm sorry if you were. You should have never put faith in me."
(That's a relief!)
Haydi
"That's... debatable." He muttered, but it was clear he was warming up to the idea.
Lander
He shut his eyes and tried to imagine doing that, "I can't... yet. I still know too much... too much to do. And besides... I wouldn't even know how to begin."
Dr. Fenn
He leaned against the wall, a kind expression on his face, "more than you probably think. Thank you for being honest with my daughter."
(I forgot to answer!
He wouldn't feel it. His body would fall into a state of hibernation? It would be ok... the bleeding would slow but he'd likely still need assistance)
Remy:
"Oh." He relaxed a little bit and seemed less tense.
Katra:
"And won't this 'torture' be better than being hungry?"
Hayes:
He pushed the wheelchair through the maze of beds. "You have to stop thinking about yourself in relation to San, Lander. The more distance you place between him and you in your mind, the better."
Cosmo:
He managed to get back to the room he had woken up in. He sat down against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest, as if pretending to be small and a kid again. The notebook pressed against his heart, a reminder of his memories and what he carried inside.
He used his inhaler and leaned his head back against the wall. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before suddenly crossing his right hand over his chest and digging his nails into his left arm.
"Dr Fenn," he said. "How much do you know about me? How much of the world can you see?" He needed to set the record straight. He couldn't have Dr. Fenn go through all of this thinking that what he'd had for San was just friendship or that he was his son in law.
Hayd
"like the kindest form. Me just being annoyed and dramatic I guess?"
Lander
He grew serious again, "ok ok...you are right. I'm sorry. How am I going to do that?"
San
He watched him for a moment before he turned back to his coloring like a kid his age would do.
Fenn
He followed Cosmo out.
Remy:
"How much like torture?" he said softly, his voice shaking a bit. If he took the drug...if he took the drug...
Hayes:
"I'm being serious, Lander. This isn't funny." The wheelchair creaked and groaned, but he managed to get it rolling. "The first thing you can do to help yourself is shore up your individuality."
Cosmo:
"I have met your mother, but not your father." He gently pressed the crayons back into San's hand. He didn't need to look at them to see what color they would be. "No. You can keep these. I'll draw a picture for you later." He put the cat stuffy on the ground, too.
"I just need a little bit of time. I'll be back." He clutched his notebook tightly and stumbled out of the room.
(How much would he be effected by what is happening to his body in the med bay in this limbo like place?)
Haydi
"Sounds like torture..." he whispered.
Lander
He smiled and even laughed a little bit, "Dad, I like it when you get all defensive and protective."
San
His eyes lit up and he jumped, "you have the same name as me! Do you know my mommy? Or my daddy? I love them!" He smiled and picked itu a few crayons for his new friend. He chose his favorite colors and handed them to Cosmo Braze. "For you!"
Katra:
"That is precisely what I mean," she said shortly. "It won't be that bad."
Hayes:
"Don't say that," he snapped. "You aren't any lesser than anyone, Lander. It's true that not everyone is going to give you equal rights. That's why you need to go and ******* take them." Everything he said was out of love.
Cosmo:
He held the stuffy there with his chin and took a deep breath. It hurt to breathe, but he could smell San in this stuffy. It wasn't the same San-scent, but it was still very San.
"I like drawing a lot." He pulled his notebook from his pocket with his free hand. He fingered the pages. "But I realize that I haven't introduced myself. My name is Cosmo..."
Do I still have a right to you name, San? You gave it to me of your own free will. Though that memory of yours may be gone, I can still picture it as clear as day.
Maybe that’s what I am meant to be, now that things have changed. I’ll keep your memory alive. I’ll remember the you that was before.
"My name is Cosmo Braze," he said aloud. "I am not related to you by blood, but I...I am family."
Haydi
"You mean get that liquid stuff pumped in to me?"
Lander
He pursed his lips, "you had me until the end... I don't have all the rights that others have..."
San
He smiled and took his hand, "do you want to color or something? Maybe snuggle with my stuffy?" He pushed the stuffy farther under Cosmo's chin.
Dr Fenn
He looked at Cosmo.
Katra:
If Rick didn't come in four hours, she would be very mad. "Now, in the meantime, it would be good if you ate between now and before Rick comes."
Hayes:
He managed to get Lander fully into the wheelchair. "No. Even if Nasa had raised you as intended, you still would have been a different person. For one, it wasn't just San's genetics. Two, coming directly or indirectly from someone doesn't mean that you are them. I am not my parents."
He looked Lander in the eyes. "You are an individual, and you have all the rights of an individual."
Cosmo:
Baby. He wished that he was a baby, too. If San was five, he should have been two or three, depending on the month. He'd had a very happy childhood.
He took a shuddery breath and finally found his words again. "It's not okay," his voice cracked, "but I'm happy for you." He made himself let go of San before the hug felt like it had gone on to long.
He'd thought that he could be San's escape, but San had found a very different escape indeed.
Haydi
He frowned but nodded, "I can wait four hours..." but so much could happen in four hours...
Lander
He winced a bit but tried to help. "I'm still part of him... I may be my own person, but I nearly wasn't... and I came directly from him... in a less direct way?"
San
He didn't really understand what was going on and just hugged him. Oh? "It's ok, baby?" He just repeated what his mom would say to him when he was upset and she was trying to comfort him.
Dr. Fenn
This man needed an explanation, but first he'd have to snap out of it... no one was supposed to be able to make it here, but it was going to change the entire course of things now that someone other than him was here.
Katra:
She didn’t have a specific amount, but she decided that she might as well pick a number and go with it. “4,” she decided. “Will that suit you alright?”
Hayes:
“No... it's not like that,” he argued. “The papers may not say it yet, but they will once I find Rook. You are your own person. You may have San’s genetics, but you aren’t San in everything else. Your thoughts are your own, your experiences are your own, everything you do is your own.” He managed to lift Lander into the chair.
Cosmo:
Do I need a hug? I—
He looked into San’s eyes for another moment before he took the boy up on the offer. He threw his arms around the boy, hugged him tightly, and wept over his shoulder. What I need is you. It’s always been you. I know what you are to me, but what am I to you now? I love you, San.
Haydi:
"How many hours are you asking for?" He asked with a suspicious look.
Lander
"No... I feel like I have to. He's part of me and I have to see him." He paused, "actually... I suppose I'm part of him?"
San
He tilted his head and looked into this man's hazel eyes, "you look sad? Do you need a hug?" His voice was a childlike as they come.
Fenn
He watched Cosmo, ready to jump in if needed.
Katra:
"That's not advisable. Can't you wait a few hours before trying that? I'm sure Rick will be there by then." She wasn't sure, actually, but she really hoped that he would.
Hayes:
"Understandable. I wouldn't feel good about seeing myself like that, either. San does look peaceful right now, though, like he is taking a long nap." He moved the wheelchair as close to the bed as he could. "You seriously don't have to look at him if you don't feel like it."
Cosmo:
He couldn't feel the hand at his shoulder and Dr. Fenn's words only dimly registered in his mind. If this was step one, what was step two? Was it going to get worse from here, or better? Could he even live to see that if the cyanide didn't claim his life first?
For a moment, all he could see were those eyes. Such vibrant green eyes. He could see himself reflected back in them. His heart pounded painfully and he just didn't know how to feel anymore with San being a child.
He was still unable to speak. He could only keep looking into San's eyes, so many tangled emotions reflected back in his own. Love. Regret. Longing. Sadness. Loneliness.
Something is wrong with me.
Haydi
"What if I run away before that point?" He asked.
Lander
He took a shaky breath, "dad... I'm kind of nervous... the thought of seeing him like that? I want to, but it makes me feel queasy."
Fenn
He once again placed his hand on his once Son in Laws shoulder. "Before you just fall into a pit of despair, this is only step one..."
San
The young boy walked over and offered the man one of his stuffed animals. It was his favorite. A fuzzy purple cat. "Meow?" Big and innocent green eyes stared at Cosmo.
Katra:
"Yes, but more importantly, they may be able to help you." She checked her comm and her voice fell. "Oh. He's busy right now. We'll have to wait a while."
Remy:
Thinking about Aeriel made him shiver.
Hayes:
"I may be old, but I haven't lost my tracking skills yet, Lander." He placed his hand over his son's. "I'll take you to the others." Luckily, the wheelchair was still here. It would have been very hard without it.
Cosmo:
He was relieved at first. San wasn't a Cthulhu-like monster, nor was he in any kind of visible pain. This was San before Shadow and San before the scars. Perhaps this was the time of his life when he had been happiest.
Then it dawned on him. This San wasn't his friend, wasn't his brother, wasn't his leader. This was San pre-Shadow, but it was also San pre-Cosmo.
When Shadow had been in his mind, the thing that had petrified him was that Shadow would take away his memories of San. Now the opposite had happened: he'd been erased from San.
All the times that they had spent together. Gone.
He tried to speak, but he couldn't get any words to leave his mouth. He fell to his knees, his breath coming in quick, unfulfilling gasps. Before he even realized that he was crying, his eyes had overflowed with tears. Gone was his determination from earlier. He felt so very very cold.
Haydi
He looked between them. "So the biting dragon is coming here? That's what we decided?"
Lander
He offered him a smile, "seems you still are a good bounty hunter, dad."
Dr. Fenn
He led him down a small hall and into the only other room there. The inside of the room was a replica of what San's childhood bedroom looked like... on the floor in that room was San... but he wasn't the adult that Cosmo would know him as. He was a kid of the age of five.
Katra:
"There should be no biting at all, if we're lucky."
Remy:
"I'll just hide under the bed again if Rick comes," he decided. "Katra, can you please message him?"
Katra:
"Here goes nothing," she muttered. She wrote out a formal-sounding message to Rick. He was a commanding officer.
Hayes:
He hung up on the call and followed Lander's voice to the bed. "Ah, there we go. Found you." He stood there awkwardly. He had never liked seeing sick people.
Cosmo:
Dr. Fenn's words sent a fresh stab of alarm shooting through him. He gritted his teeth and shouldered it. He needed to accept that San wasn't okay right now. Even still, his heart really hurt right now.
"I understand." He accepted the helping hand and managed to get to his feet. There was a weariness in his eyes that hadn't been there last time he had talked to Dr. Fenn. His body and mind were reaching their breaking point.
Haydi
He was confused, the meds getting to his brain, "getting bit is better than not getting bit?"
Lander
He felt a small smile playing on his lips, "over here." He called weakly. His voice wasn't as strong as it normally was, but he was relatively fine.
Fenn
He hesitated before he nodded and stood, offering a hand to help the man to his feet. "Go slow... prepare your mind for anything... I'll answer any questions you have, but keep your voice soft."
Remy:
"But isn't it better than the alternative?" Haydi wasn't taking to the help of the medics here very well. Maybe a different kind of help would be better.
Katra:
"I guess so." She started to pace back and forth. "It may be better if you leave the room for that, Remy."
Hayes:
"I disagree. Fotarah brought a lot of light into my life when she asked for you to be made." He usually didn't say things like that; he was feeling sentimental today.
He opened the door to the bunkroom and tried to find Lander in the rows and stacks of dusty beds.
Cosmo:
He focused on one thing: his promise. Whatever happens, I can’t forget the promise I made. I need to follow San, wherever his spirit is now. I would follow him to the end of the universe. I may keep missing the target, but I'll find him. He took a hesitant breath, then another. Owww.
He looked into Dr. Fenn's eyes. "Whatever's happened, I need to see him."
Haydi
"If the dragon bites me, I may bite it back." He muttered.
Lander
He was feeling very off, but wasn't feeling like his life was in danger. "She wasn't a very bright person." He breathed.
Fenn
He knelt next to the man and put his hand on his shoulder, "deep breaths and focus on one thing. Recenter your brain of this place may break you. " he paused, "he's here, but he isn't how you would remember him."
Remy:
He hugged Haydi, keenly aware of what was flesh and bone and what wasn't. It hurt to know that he had the power to fix all of this, if he only returned to Miranda and took the drug. There had to be another way.
"Rick may be able to help," he said after a moment. "He inherited Arien's mantle."
Katra:
"Commander Rick Shander doesn't like you very much," she reminded Remy, "and I think his dragon would rather bite us than help us."
Hayes:
"I'm hurrying." He upped his pace and the hallways flashed by in a blur. "Couldn't she have brightened up this place a little?" he complained. "Jeez, even a few flowers would be nice."
Cosmo:
He closed his eyes for a moment and focused on his breathing. He was still wheezing quite a bit, but he no longer felt as though he were being strangled. He opened his eyes again and dizzily struggled to sit up.
“I-Is this limbo?” He looked around feverishly, trying to find San. I need San. “Dr. Fenn, please, I need to find him.” Dr. Fenn. Does he think Kira and I are still together? San. Where’s San? No, no, no, I can’t be trapped here. His thoughts were all in a jumble.
:)
Haydi
He reached for Remy, wanting a hug. He felt like he was spiraling.
Lander
He tried to adjust himself and winced, "can you uh... please hurry?"
Dr. Fenn:
He studied the man for a moment, his eyes soft, "he's here." He said softly, "well... part of him is."
(It's perfectly okay. :) Dotr is not going anywhere.)
Katra:
She sighed, having her own thoughts on that. Maybe they could save Elli without Haydi? Or maybe it would be a disaster if they tried. Whatever the case, the medic being here wasn't helping. "You may leave." She waved her hand.
Medic:
She didn't need to be told twice. She left.
Remy:
He came out right away.
Hayes:
He switched back into his normal voice. "What can I say, Lander? I'm an actor at heart." He ran his fingers over the map and memorized it. "I should be there in a few minutes."
(Uh oh...alrighty.)
Cosmo:
He was laying on the ground somewhere, his head throbbing and heart pounding. His hand was still pressed against his chest. It was a little easier to breathe now, but he couldn't help but cough.
He looked to the side. "Dr. Fenn?" he said weakly. "San...?" He said the name very delicately, as if scared that it would blow away.
(I'll try to do it tomorrow! But knowing me it will probably be next week XD!)
Haydi
He lay back, looking defeated at the thought, "if my wife and baby are dead, it's going to be..." he didn't finish that, "I want the Medic out of here." He wanted Remy back by his side.
Lander
He just about burst out laughing, "dad, that was far too believable." The control pad showed him a map of how to get there.
(Well this just got a whole lot more interesting... Cosmo, I hope you are up for quite the uh... adventure...)
Dr. Fenn:
He saw the new boy appear. Curly haired and and probably about 20 years old. He approached him.
(I agree! The post doesn’t seem to be getting glitchy, but it has been a year and a fresh start would be nice!)
Katra:
“If you go, you could very well die,” she said bluntly. “We don’t have any miracle healers around here. You only have one life. Please use it wisely.”
Remy:
He stared at his hands. If he had some parem, he could be a miracle healer. If he had some parem, nothing could stop him from charging into the Nightwalker base and taking Elli back. No. There must be another way.
Hayes:
“That ratty crew person is on the bridge, hopefully flying us to a hospital of some kind.” He broke into a jog. It felt good to get his body moving again. “Knowing her, she would just give me the longest route possible for the laughs of it.”
He stopped at a control pad and switched to his best imitation of Fotarah’s voice. It wasn’t all that bad! “Tell me how to get to the stormtrooper sleeping quarters!” he ordered the thing.
Cosmo:
He got to his feet and swayed dangerously before finding his footing. He staggered somewhat forwards, and certainly not in a straight line, with both hands pressed against his throbbing chest. The delusion San walked with him but did not offer any more help.
He couldn’t get the dizziness to go away. One misstep, and he fell to the ground. He coughed roughly and spent a few precious moments finding his breath again before he looked around to see where he had landed, only a few paces from the bed. There, within reach, was something familiar. He picked up San’s helmet, which he had dropped earlier. The needle was still within the helmet. Though it had been washed out by the floodwaters, some of San’s blood and the poison may still remain.
He smiled weakly and some blood trickled down from his mouth. Will this take me to where you are? I'm already down for the count. This wouldn't make things worse.
“No!” The delusion cried. “Don’t do it!”
He pulled the helmet onto his head.
Haydi
His eyes twitched as he stared at the hand... or lack there of. He thought of his wife and how she was gone... pregnant and in the hands of someone dangerous. He couldn't help her... he didn't know where she was and time was running out. What if he never found her? What if she was already dead? What if their baby was stolen upon being born and then they kill his beautiful wife? Would he ever be able to find his child?
He gritted his teeth and said, "I don't have time for deadly. I don't have time for liquid food or bed rest. I need to go."
Lander
He knew San would be very upset if Hayes threw the armor away, but they didn't know if it was contaminated, "where is that crew member? Maybe you could ask her?"
:o
Katra:
"That is precisely the problem. If that wound gets infected, it could be deadly. Stay still, Haydi. Let us help you."
Hayes:
"I'm wearing gloves; I'll be alright." He was aware that he was likely breathing in trace amounts, however. "At least I don't need to throw away San's armor...I think." He glanced over at the pile of beskar plates that Cosmo had carried in.
Cosmo was staring vacantly at something, and he supposed that wasn't a horrible sign, so he left the med bay and started down the halls.
"Now if I can only find my way back to where you are. This place is a maze."
Cosmo:
He waited for Hayes to leave the room before he tried to sit up. The delusion San extended his hand to help him, but he simply couldn't touch the nonexistent hand.
His hand was trembling as he pulled the oxygen mask away from his face. I need to find answers.
Haydi
He looked at what was left of it and gritted his teeth, "it's not there... I don't see a problem with it."
Lander
He knew how San would feel about that, "don't expose yourself more than you have to."
(Cosmo...)
Katra:
"Look at your hand. Really look at it. Tell me then if you think you are fine," she said with a hard edge to her voice.
Remy:
He squeezed his eyes shut, contemplating whether he should try to stop Haydi and reveal himself, or stay hidden and do nothing.
Hayes:
"He wasn't easy to grab, but I did grab him. I was just pulling him up to Terila's office when everything fell to shambles." He kicked San's clothes into a pile on the side of the room. "San's clothes are contaminated with cyanide. I'll have to throw them out."
Cosmo:
The delusion San only smiled placidly. “I know you are smart enough to figure out what this is once you put the pieces together. I believe in you.” It quoted from the letter Cosmo had gotten with the mysterious brooch.
‘Put the pieces together’. Why can’t I solve the riddle? Why can’t I find that one future where San and I both have a life? I know why. I can’t put the pieces together because I am in pieces. My lungs left me a long time ago, my heart is beating in the body of one deeply unconscious, my hands are cold, so cold.
Haydi
"I'm fine." He muttered, his mind buzzing. He wanted out. "Unhook me or I'm ripping it all out."
Lander
"You were tasked with delivering him? Was he easy to grab? Now... he'd follow you." He looked down, "I'll wait for you- uh what are you doing with his clothes?"
( :o )
Medic:
She didn't try to stop Haydi. She had no obligation to, and he was taking up space in the med bay.
Katra:
She felt horrible. There was a part of her that remembered the time when Haydi was her commanding officer, when she was supposed to listen to his commands - but that wasn't the case any longer.
"No. Lie back down; you are hurt." If he moved much more, he might pull out the IV.
Hayes:
He was glad that Lander had acknowledged that San might not wake up with the telltale 'if' instead of 'when'.
"He's attacked me before, but that was a long time ago. The first time I met him, I was tasked with delivering him to Terila. I could do that easily now." He pulled off the rest of San's clothes with gloved hands, then covered him with the sheet. "I'll come and get you." He was worried for Lander.
Cosmo:
He turned his face slightly and met the gaze of the delusion San. He searched within those green expanses for the strength to fight. His hazel eyes were foggy with guilt, tears, and pain.
Teach me how to love. Teach me how to breathe. Teach me how to live again.
Hayek
He was gritting his teeth, eyeing her. When Katra took the medics side though, his eyes flashed to hers. It wasn't a look of anger, more like a look of betrayal. "I'm leaving." He attempted to get up. He was sure no medical attention would be plenty painful.
Lander
He let that thought swim around in his brain for a moment, a long silence passing between them before he said, "if San ever wakes up, I can assure you that you will hear quite a mouthful from him once he knows you saw... everything. That or he'll turn beet red and refuse to ever speak of it. It's for the best though and I think out of most of the people in his life, you are one he would at least not attack." He smirked through the pain, "maybe."
(Likely a plus... but still. It's both nice and very alarming!)
Medic:
"This is about your medical health and I am your medic. The way I see it, you just answer me."
Katra:
She sighed. "Please answer the medic, Haydi." She didn't like having to take the medic's side.
Hayes:
"I have no idea why you aren't in the same state as him, but frankly, I'm grateful for that." He was cutting San's pant legs now, doing what he could to give him privacy. "I'm undressing San because of cyanide contamination, but there is not anything to see here. That's how bad this is, that San is doing nothing to stop me, and his friend isn't doing much better."
(At least they are going to see a doctor?)
Cosmo:
"No, no," he gasped, turning from side to side on the bed. "No, no, no!" The violent action sent jabs of pain up his chest, but he was already in pain enough that it didn't matter.
The delusional San gently placed his hands on Cosmo's shoulder and waist, holding him still.
A shiver traveled up his spine.
Haydi
"Nah. Not really in the mood. He glared at the medic.
(Lander: *deep thinking time*)
Lander
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. His lungs screamed at him, but he could still breathe. "Dad... why am I not in the same state as him? What are you seeing?"
(Someone needs to go check on dear Cosmo)
Katra:
She eyed Haydi skeptically. If he was trying to find a way to hurt himself, he likely wouldn't admit to it easily.
Medic:
"Then why don't you give me one of those reasons?"
(That's a good question Lander...of which I have no idea, unless San's spirit is in a different body.)
Hayes:
"D***," he hissed, seeing the numerous scars that marked San's body. He got a certain amount of pleasure from the knowledge that he had protected Lander from ever receiving those scars.
"It's is pretty ******* bad. I think he is comatose." He paused. "Idiot," he muttered, though it was unclear whether he was calling San an idiot, or himself an idiot for caring so much.
Cosmo:
With the help of the oxygen mask, he was able to find his breath again. The delusion San had grown stronger. To him, it was almost more real than the real San.
“I forgive you,” the apparition said, in the same voice San had said it earlier.
No no no no! It can’t end this way.
Haydi
"There is plenty of reason for that, you are just a doctor so you can't say so." He snapped before trying to draw himself back in a bit.
Lander
He winced, "is he really that bad?" He was afraid. He was afraid that if San were to die, it would take him down with him... he didn't want to die... but also, his symptoms almost always copied San's identically. Why was this time different?
(Cosmo .....)
Katra:
"Haydi. There is no reason to put yourself through more pain than you need to." Was he trying to punish himself? For having not saved his wife yet?
Remy:
He wished that he could take some of the pain. After all he had done, he felt like he deserved to.
Hayes:
Some of those symptoms would describe cyanide poisoning. "I won't lie; that's not good," he said after a moment, "but at least you are well enough to speak. That's more than I can say for San. He's a breathing corpse."
He cut down San's shirt, beginning to get over the awkwardness and focus more on getting the task done quickly.
Cosmo:
He wanted to talk to this delusion San. There was something he wanted to tell him, but what was it? He opened his mouth a bit and tried to get the words to come out, but he had no breath to give them passage. "Saaah-" he managed before he fell into another coughing fit.
“Shhh. Don’t try to speak. It’s hurting you,” he heard the delusion San say. “Your silence speaks a thousand words.”
None of the words I really wanted to say.
Haydn
"I think I can deal with pain. Doesn't hurt as bad if it's invited in."
(Cosmo... )
San
If he knew what Hayes was doing, he'd likely need an entire essay explaining the need for it, but as of now, he had no clue.
Lander
He took a shaky breath and tried to focus on any of the symptoms, "my body hurts... lungs are itching and burning. I'm having trouble seeing and I can't hear you too well... can't move... pounding headache."
Medic:
"The only food you will be eating for a while is food that you can slurp or food that is pumped directly into you. Other food could be a pain for your body right now."
Remy:
Once this was all over, he resolved to take Haydi to this really good looking restaurant he had seen as a ghost.
Cosmo:
It hurt so much to breathe, but he forced himself to in what gasps, wheezes, and shaky breaths he could manage. He delusionally took his imagined San in his mind to be reality. He imagined it brushing the sweat-soaked hair out of eyes and clasping his hand. Though none of it was real, at least it was calming him down somewhat.
He was no longer clear-minded enough to realize how close death walked.
Hayes:
He warily approached San with the scissors and a sheet to give him as much privacy as he could. He felt bad about doing this, but it needed to be done. "How are you feeling, Lander? Anything that would resemble cyanide poisoning?"
He set the bottom of the scissors against San's arm and began to cut up from the unconscious man's sleeve. It wasn't easy to cut through the shirt material.
Haydi
"The cause of liking to chew my food." He said a bit sharper than intended.
San
He didn't know what was going on in the world around him.
Lander
He picked up. "H-hi."
@Morningmist @Windfeather @Firesong (I'm putting together a really long answer for all of your questions, it may take a while. If you have any more, please reply to this comment:)
Also happy birthday Fire!!!!)
@Firesong @Windfeather @Skysun
(Hey guys! So do you remember that time I asked you if I could turn the plot of this role play and the characters into a series of books with my sister Stormflight? I'd just like to check if that's still okay, and if there was anything you wanted to specify?)
Medic:
She looked at Haydi, unimpressed. "Are you wanting to go on a hunger strike? For what cause?" she asked wryly.
Katra:
She wanted to smack her face with her hand.
Cosmo:
He had been moving his hand up to remove the mask, but at Hayes's words, his fingers hesitated. His mother's words came back to him, that his love for San would kill him one day if he continued to pursue him. His hand stilled on his chest and he closed his eyes again.
He pictured San in his mind between his jagged breaths. He imagined that San was holding his hand, directing him to breathe.
"HhaaAaahH," he exhaled unsteadily.
Hayes:
That was one crisis averted. Plenty more crises to go. He looked down at the scissors in his hand and decided to delay that task a little bit. He called Lander instead, to check up on him.
Haydi
"Wait... really? What if I refuse??" He looked at the medic.
San
He lay a few feet away, his face appearing peaceful.
Vint
He looked at her.
Logan
He smiled and looked at her, "have you seen this one?"
Remy:
He laid back against the cool tile ground and listened as the door opened and the medic came back in.
Katra:
"We were hoping for some food delivery service?" she ventured.
Medic:
She looked over at Haydi. "Do you mind having food in its liquid form, inserted into your body? Because that's what you are going to get."
Hayes:
This crazy man wasn't coming back. He needed to try something else.
Cosmo:
He squeezed San's hand with his now healing fingers and gripped the dirt with his other hand. His fingers were slipping; he was being pulled back towards life.
Where are you? Are you even further than limbo…dead? I’d follow you anywhere, San, even if it’s to the darkest pit of my dreams. He stopped breathing. 1...2...3. How long can you live without breathing? 4...20...60...90...His eyelashes fluttered.
Breath forced its way into his lungs and he found himself back on the med bay bed again. His chest hurt like crazy. He gasped and wheezed.
Hayes:
He'd managed to find an oxygen mask in the clutter, and it seemed to be helping. He stood over the bed, scissors still in hand. "That's it. Learn how to breath again. I know it hurts, but we can't give up. You have deems in your eyes, I can see it. Hold onto those dreams and never let them go."
He'd found his dream. Terila, Lander, Rick, and Pazali. They left him sometimes, but they were all he wished they would be.
Paz
she wondered what was happening at home. Was anyone missing her?
Cassi
she turned the movie on
(Popcorn!! Goodness it's been awhile!)
Haydi
He looked towards Katra, expecting her to follow through with speaking to the medic now that his buddy was hidden beneath the bed.
San
He was neither here nor there, stuck somewhere so far between life and death that he hadn't even made it to limbo entirely.
It was keeping him silent. It was making it impossible to reach him.
Logan
He smiled.
Vint
The only thing he could think to say was how this was positively stupid.
@Iceberry (Hi! I remembered you saying that you liked the Stargate series? I was talking recently with someone who is currently watching it! Apparently there are some references to a different sci-fi show that I watch, Farscape, within Stargate.
The same actor who plays Cameron in Stargate plays John Criton in Farscape. John is an astronaut who travels through a wormhole to a different part of the galaxy! Also, the same actor who plays Vala in Stargate plays Aeryn Sun in Farscape. Aeryn is a former Peacekeeper, a military force of people that conquer planets. I'm sure that their roles are much different in Stargate!
The episode "200" in Stargate has a Farscape parody within it! I found it all very neat.
:)
Remy:
"I have been able to get myself into many tight places." He wedged himself over the bed and just managed to fit.
Katra:
She moved some blankets to hide the underneath of the bed.
(He's trying to believe you but isn't really sure that he does!)
Cosmo:
He felt a stab of pain in his calf and he gasped and cried harder. He clutched San's hand and coughed blood onto the leaves beanth them. He knew that he didn't have much time.
"S-San," he gasped. His chest constricted and it was hard to breathe. The pain from earlier was coming back, and he knew it. There was so much he wanted to say. "I...love you." He closed his eyes and struggled to find his connection to San. He held onto it and struggled to remain in limbo. Where are you? "Come back..."
Hayes:
He pulled the instrument back, wet with blood, and watched Cosmo shake. "Come on. Come back." He didn't realize that Cosmo was saying the same thing.
Cassi
She nodded and smiled, "Alright." Paz
she thought of home
Haydi
He watched Remy, "might as well try? I think I'd be too big for that."
(*hugs Cosmo* it's ok buddy!)
San
His eyes were unfocused but you could see the green of his eyes. He said nothing else as he lay in the leaves.
Katra:
"I can ask, but Remy, you need to be out of sight." She looked towards the door. "Talk quieter, too. Anyone here could recognize your voice."
Remy:
He knelt down. "I think I could squeeze beneath the bed." The benefits of being small!
(Don't worry! I won't kill him, and this isn't payback. Cosmo is just in a really dark place thought wise right now.)
Cosmo:
He breathed in sharply, even though his gut was stinging. Had he dreamed it? No. That had definitely been San's voice just then.
His eyes watered and he took San's hand. "I-I don't deserve..." He squashed that thought but couldn't hold back his tears. He squeezed San's hand like he had done earlier and sobbed. "San." He could feel his dreams shattering. "Y-you deserve..."
Hayes:
"**** it." He was running out of ideas here, and if Cosmo didn't wake up soon, he was a goner. It already seemed to be too late for San.
He grabbed a pointy medical instrument. "You'd better wake up with this time," he muttered, before stabbing Cosmo in the calf with it.
Haydi
"Can you ask? I don't want to talk to that medic."
(Yet... I'm scared you might kill him.... is this payback??)
Crew
She was off, the ship in the air and into Space. Zeffo was not the place to find any sort of medical care.
San
He wasn't fully there, but a soft whisper escaped his lip. "I forgive you."