Jun 4

Sorry for spamming posts + aaAAAAAAaAaaaaaaAaAaaaaAAAAAAA

4 comments

first, sorry for spamming posts................ wOOPS

second,

my depression is eating me alive :) please give me reasons not to end it all. I know Rain's doing better but my mind keeps coming up with excuses to be worried and miserable. "If she's doing fine, why hasn't she come back? She could be lying... am I one of the fake friends she's talking about? Why does she think that? Did I do something wrong? Will she ever talk to me again? Did I miss my chance?"

 

My mind's a kaleidoscope

It thinks too fast

Blurs all the colours

'Till I can't see past

 

The last mistake, the choice I make

Starin' in the mirror, myself to blame

 

Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside

No where to hide inside my mind

I'm scared that you'll compare

And I'll look a lifetime past repair

 

I second guess myself to death

I re-solicit every step

 

"What if my words are meaningless?

What if my heart's misleading this?"

 

I try to capture every moment as it comes to me

Bottle up the memories

And let them keep me

Company

 

...

 

When I'm old and grey or thirty

Or whatever happens first

I'll need you to reassure me

I didn't waste a verse!

 

Or worse, what if my life's worth is reduced to just myself?

Like I'd never let ya get a word in

While I dissect my mental health

 

Or lack thereof, whatever

There's too many things to track

I really can't remember

If I'm insane or insomniac

 

And nowadays, all these kids want crazy

Wanna diagnose themselves

Trade up made up epidemics

Pass around prescription pills

 

But my disorder can't be cured

By a bottle, blade or dose

Self-disgust and selfishness

Tend to hold me awfully close

 

But I don't wanna let you see that

I don't want my friends to know!

Self-disgust and selfishness

Take me every where I go

 

...

 

Try as I might, to keep it together!

Why is recovery taking forever?

Fool the whole world, just until I get better!

 

I'm terrified I'll be faking forever...

Faking forever...

 

- Hope of Morning, Icon For Hire

You forgot the last line: And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight; I will not be giving in tonight.

Don't give up. Things will get better. Always.

Jun 4

Echo, if you are worried about why Rain hasn't reappeared on the MB, I think it's pretty safe to assume that she hasn't come back on because she doesn't want be overwhelmed with all the missed notifications and posts.

Ummm... I always tell myself that it won't last...

Emi, I personally think that if Rain WAS calling us fake friends, she thinks we were fake because we seemed to care about her SO MUCH and she thought she didn’t deserve us. I feel that way sometimes. Not OFTEN, but sometimes.

New Posts
  • Light, that's the first thing I saw when I was born. And warmth and 3 fillies? I also saw a colt flying in. He had beautiful fire colored feathers I looked at mine. A light blue. "Good morning Icesong my beautiful fillie." I soon learned the other fillies names witch were my sisters. Thunderbrook was the color of lightning, Moonleaf's were the colors of a light purple flower I did not know of but I saw it when I was in the field. And Ashmist had blood red feathers. I played in the field all that afternoon. I went to bed the next night I woke up in snow.
  • I really like Hamilton. The musical is epic! So...does anyone else like it?
  • All the decscendents of Star have a power. Most have certain ascpects of stars power, silver or gold, but some have different powers. These powers are prized by the herds, (the original ones) but one power is prized above all. Magic. (They have a more varied power type. [Yes, all of this is magic, but...hold on] they can shoot balls of pure magic, or the can tie it to an element, earth, air, fire, water, ice, lightening, light, dark, chaos, or soul. [I added a ton cause I hope a lot of people will join]) over time, the pegasI with magic split into elemental groups, and eventualy became separate herds. https://www.theguardianherd.com/messageboard/herd-chat/thunderfeather-rp-characters dedicated to @Iceflower

FOLLOW ME

  • Facebook - White Circle
  • Instagram - White Circle
  • YouTube - White Circle
  • Google+ - White Circle
  • Pinterest - White Circle
  • Twitter - White Circle

©2019 by JENNIFER LYNN ALVAREZ

Art ©2014-2019

DAVID MCCLELLAN AND VIVIENNE  TO