She didn't know so she nodded. "I-I was b-back in D-dakur, D-dad was yelling at m-me for something I d-didn't do, and th-then......" her words trailed off, melting into sobs as she hid her face in the blanket. "I g-got a b-beating a-and he t-told me i-if I d-didn't s-stay away f-from y-you, h-he'd k-kill me."
"I mean.... they're just scars." she said, but she didn't feel like that was true, she didn't feel like they were just scars she felt like they were barriers in-between her and everyone else, and that included being loved by people
New part https://www.theguardianherd.com/messageboard/herd-chat/kihlari-rp-part-170
Sasha:
"I remember why I asked it but I'm glad that I'm still alive. If I wasn't then I wouldn't be your girlfriend and I wouldn't be free of my father."
Leo
He nodded slightly.
Sasha:
"Thank you. Thank you for not listening to me when I begged you to kill me."
Leo
"Oh yeah," he murmured, "and I didn't, " he said running his fingerscthrkugh her hair again
Sasha:
She looked away. "I asked you to kill me, well more like I begged."
Leo,
"What was it again?" He asked rasing an eyebrow.
Sasha:
"Do you remember what I asked you the second day I knew you?" she asked
Leo
He nodded agreeing.
Sasha:
"We definatly need a library."
Leo
He smiled, "Definitely, "
Sasha:
"We'll need a big kitchen so that I can bake cookies often, then you won't have to steal the cookies I make for your family." she said with a grin
Leo
"Sure,"
Sasha:
"We can talk about the future, if you want."
Leo,
"No ideq" he murmured.
Sasha:
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked
Leo,
He looked down at her.
Sasha:
She looked up at him
Leo,
He smiled slightly.
Sasha; "Sometimes I think you're pretty perfect and it's hard to remember you have scars like me." she murmured
Leo
"I love you too," hd murmured.
Sasha:
She rested her head on his chest, "I love you." she whispered
Leo
He smiled slightly, tightening his arms lovingly around her.
Sasha:
"I hate th-these n-nightmares."
Leo,
"No, of course not," hd murmured, "I love spending time with you,"
Sasha
"I-I'm n-not staying a-away from y-you."
Leo
He gently ran a hand through Sasha's hair reassuringly.
Sasha:
She shook with sobs
Leo,
He winced, remembering when his father told him that same thing.
Leo gently pulled Sasha into a hug.
Sasha:
She didn't know so she nodded. "I-I was b-back in D-dakur, D-dad was yelling at m-me for something I d-didn't do, and th-then......" her words trailed off, melting into sobs as she hid her face in the blanket. "I g-got a b-beating a-and he t-told me i-if I d-didn't s-stay away f-from y-you, h-he'd k-kill me."
Leo,
"Do you want to talk about it? "
Sasha:
"J-just a b-bad d-dream."
Leo,
He rested his back against the headboard.
Sasha:
She forced herself not the flinch, this is Leo, he's your friend, you're safe, she mentally told herself
Leo
He gently brushe some hair out of her face.
Sasha:
She shuddered, pulling the blanket up to her chin
Leo,
"Nightmare, " he murmured, "we're still at the palace , "
Sasha:
Her eyes slowly opened
Leo,
"Sasha," he murmured, "You're safe, it's me, Leo,"
Sasha:
She flinched. "Please don't hit me, please don't hit me, I'll stay away from Leo."
Leo
He gently set a hand on Sasha's shoulder, "hey, it's alright, you're safe, "
(I gtg for the night, bye!)
Sasha:
She cried out in pain, her body twitching again
Leo,
"Sasha, you're safe," he murmured, "safe and with me, "
Sasha:
She was back in Dakur, her father was yelling at her for something. She knew she'd end up getting a beating.
"No, please no, I didn't do anything!" she cried out in her sleep. She twitched as though she had been struck
Leo,
"Love you too,"
Sasha:
She shrugged, closing her eyes to block out bad memories. "I love you." she whispered before slipping into a nightmare filled sleep
Leo,
"No you didn't, and you aren't a horrible person, your father was the horrible person, "
Sasha; "M-maybe I d-did. M-maybe I w-was s-such a h-horrible person th-that I d-did d-deserve th-those b-beatings."
Leo,."no, you never deserved those beatings,"
Sasha:
"Wh-what did I do that m-made him h-hate me? A-am I th-that b-bad of a p-person? M-maybe I d-deserved th-the beatings I g-got."
Leo
He gently brushed her hair away from her face again. Remembering that his father did that same thing to him everyday.
"Because you're father, probably never even knew what love was."
Sasha:
She shuddered, remembering the pain that had caused those scars. "I-I-If I'm n-not u-unloveable then why did my father treat me like I was?"
Leo
"I don't care," he murmured,
Sasha:
"Wh-why? It's just another thing that's wrong with me."
Leo
"Sasha," he murmured, "I'm glad you told me,"
Sasha:
She shook her head. "No I'm not. I never should have told you about my scars. They're my problem, not yours."
Leo,
He gently set a hand on her shoulder "you're still loveable. "
Sasha:
She didn't know how to explain. "You just are. You aren't-" Why can't I just say it?! but she couldn't finish, 'unlove-able like me'
Leo,
"How?"
Sasha:
"Th-that's d-different." she looked away, "You're different."
Leo,
"You've seen my scars, and you still love me,"
Sasha:
"You've never seen them, they're ugly and they do make me unlove-able."
Leo,
"No they aren't, you still are lovable," he said guessing what she was going to say.
Sasha:
"Yes they are and they m-make me-" she stopped, unable to say 'unlove-able'
Leo,
"They're not stupid, and not ugly," he murmured.
Sasha:
"Stupid ugly scars." she muttered
Leo
He kept his gaze on Sasha, still gently tracing his fingers across her scars.
Sasha:
She nodded but all she could think of was the ugly scars on her back, the scars that were stopping her from being loveable
Leo,
"Hey, I still love you, no matter what," he murmured .
Sasha:
She looked away, maybe she shouldn't have told Leo about her scars
Leo,
He gently brushed hair out of her face.
Sasha:
"I mean.... they're just scars." she said, but she didn't feel like that was true, she didn't feel like they were just scars she felt like they were barriers in-between her and everyone else, and that included being loved by people
Leo
"I don't mind dealing with your problems," he murmured.
Sasha:
"You already have so much to deal with, you shouldn't have to deal with my problems too."
Leo
"I'm serious, it's alright. "
Sasha:
She shrugged and shook her head at the same time
Leo,
"Hey, it's alright, " he murmured .
Sasha:
"I didn't remember I even had these scars."
Leo,
"O-oh," he murmured, mutting his hand back on her back tracing where her scars were.
Sasha:
She let go of his hand. "I t-tried to run away." she whispered, explaining why she had the scars
Leo
His brow creased, he never knew she had scars on her back.
Sasha:
She wasn't sure if she should explain so she did. She took his hand and gently ran it down her back, knowing he would be able to feel the scars
Leo
He knew what that meant but didn't push it, "Good, " he murmured.
Sasha:
"It is now. It's been alright for years."
Leo
"Is your back alright?"
Sasha:
She shrugged, gently rubbing her hand up and down her back. "I don't know, I just..... remembered something I'd forgotten for a while."
Leo
"You alright? "
Sasha:
She didn't smile in return.
Leo
He smiled slightly.
Sasha:
She looked up at him, wondering if he knew what was bothering her. "I love you too."
Leo
"Niat at all, " he murmured, "I love it wjen yiu hug me, and I love you, "
Sasha:
"W-what do you mean?" she was confused. "Did you not want me to hug you? I'm sorry."
Leo
"I love you," he murmured, "no matter what. "
Sasha:
She looked back at him
Leo
He gently pulled out of the hug to look at her.
Sasha:
"Yeah." she just hoped he couldn't feel the scars on her back through her shirt, she hadn't told him about them
Leo
"Yiu alright ? " he murmured, feeling her flinch.
Sasha:
She flinched slightly when his arms wrapped around her back, remembering her scars
Leo,
He hugged her back.