The devil is dancing on my back,
He has locked his target on every person in my mind,
He has broken the bond said to be unbreakable,
And demolished any trust I've had.
He has turned the backs of those I love,
Poisoned the minds of those whom I turn to,
He has put string on my arms,
And taped my mouth shut.
It's like i'm his puppet,
He does to me what he wants,
And makes me do what he wants.
He makes others look down upon me,
Like im some curse they have to deal with,
He made the one I love and adore,
Insult me till I now lay,
Crumpled on the floor.
Its like he took the globe and flipped it around,
Yet I still stay here,
Confused and upside down.
He has broken my heart,
And given it away,
He lets others use me.
I am his victim.
This a dark poem I wrote during school. And it's all true. I have become his victim. He had broken the bond, me and my close friend share. He has let other people use me, to get out of trouble.
Basically, my friend got injured. A lot of people think it is fake sinse she fakes injuries a lot. A group of girls were gossiping about her when they called me over. Why had I been so stupid. Why had I let myself get involved. I was the only one who had seen the X-Rays, so I explained what happened and went back to practicing for a play. Soon I find out that she found out that I was supposedly gossiping about her. I asked a girl in my grade (lets call her Firbil idk) who had told her, and she said my BFF had told her. I got really mad at her and yelled at my BFF. The class found out and yelled at me for doing it. Remember the girl whom I had asked who did it. Apparently Firbil was the one who told her I was supposedly talking about her. Now half the class hates me and one of my best friends hate me. (me and my BFF made up) I dont want to go to school, for I dont want to see the look of shame from my injured friends eyes.
This isn't the first time I've been used.
I don't know what to do.
Im lost
oh no...
Starleaf, i promise everything will turn out alright. I promise I won't stop praying and getting others to pray until you feel better. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I wish I could help. Really I do. I wish I knew what words I could say that would make you feel better, that would make happy tears prick the edges of your eyes.
We're all here for you, Starleaf. We'll ask others to pray for you as well. I promise you will be in my prayers. I'll ask my youth group and church to pray for you.
In the meantime, remember this:
You make spectacular art (I don't use that word lightly)
You're absolutely hilarious (you remind me of one of my other friends on here, actually)
You're crazy like me (spamming, random words etc.)
You can tolerate me (I know im dramatic at times and stuff)
You're a friend to us all (we all love you and are here for you)
You were there to comfort me when I made the suicide post. (is everything you said true?)
You are our friend.
You joined the family when you made an account on this message board, whether you like it or not.
God bless you, im always here if you need me 💙
I feel like I could say more but I don't want to spam. At school rn so ill email my mum to pray for you and ask her to tell every religious person she knows to do the same. Thank you for being a friend. You helped me so much. Even willing to follow me into death when I was at my worst. I wish there was a way I could repay your beautiful nature. So I'll try. Hopefully that'll be enough.
Thanks Echo.......... Where would I be without you.
@Starleaf I don't know. maybe you'd be worse off, maybe better, but it doesn't matter. we're here now, and you're struggling, and we will pray and pray that you get better, that God will help you and you will have faith again. Don't give up, Starleaf. please. I know I said t doesn't matter, but trust me: without you, I'd be so much worse. You helped me so much. Thank you for always being there. You need to realise how much of an impact you've made on all of our lives. You need to know how valuable you are ❣️
Oh Starleaf! I am so sorry!
Super
Terrific!
Awesome
Really kind
Loved
Empathetic (You just get our problems)
Amazing
Family!
Thats how we see you Starleaf! You just get me! I am dramatic and I am sometimes mean I do blow my top. You are just here for me! And Echomoon and everyone else on here who falls apart. I have had friends before who cared even less for me then if I was invisible you have never even met me but you care! I am so glade God put you in my life. I am here for you! I will never give up on you till you feel better! You didnt and friends dont give up! You guys taught me what real friends are. I am here if you need me dont forget that!
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. But, don’t worry, you don’t go through it alone.
We all have felt pain. I wish it were different and life didn’t have to have so much pain and hatred, but even though it does, I know that I have friends and family supporting and encouraging me through it all. And we’re here to support you, Statleaf! Love ya! 💜
Here are some songs that might help remind you just how much you mean to God:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in1uxSpvsw0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPwd_TQpsHY
@Starleaf, there is Someone out there, fighting for you, trying to keep you safe, watching over you, standing by you and never leaving your side. Reading your poem was saddening, because so many people feel that way. Useless, forgotten, unwanted, used. I’m not sure what grade you are in, but normally high school is cut throat and sometimes girls are just plain mean, but that doesn't mean you have normal. You'll already different, strong, amazing, an artist and writer, and a friend.
“See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.”
I Thessalonians 5:15 NKJV
Drama is maddening, especially when it’s involving yourself. Don't let it ever get to you.
You got this, Starleaf. Trust yourself and trust in God. Sometimes things happen. You’ll get through this and grow stronger. Everyone who comments on this is rooting and praying for you. Never forget that we (the Herd Nerds) are always here for you. We've got your back. ❤️
How close is the ending, well nobody knows
The future's a mystery and anything goes
Love is confusing and life is hard
You fight to survive 'cause you made it this far
It's all to astounding to comprehend
It's just the beginning, this isn't the end
-Adam Young (Owl City)
Oh my goodness! Don’t worry, Starleaf I promise things will get better. I’ve experienced my own wave of self doubt, toxic relationships, and just drama. Nothing stays bad forever, and no matter how you get through it...eventually things will start looking up. Don’t loose hope! I believe you can make it through this pile of drama
Look up the song, 'Why God?' by Austin french. And 'what I know' by Tricia
Hey, s’okay! You’ve still got us here! Maybe, you should try doing something to take your mind off it! Sometimes (most of the time I’ll talk about it with my mom xD) I will draw or write or sing or dance or just do something! Work out, practice my songs on the piano this week that I’ve failed xd. D
I know what you’re feeling, but my situation isn’t the same. Hope you feel better! :3 (Would normally talk about God, but dunno if you’re atheist or you‘re against christianity xD)
nope. Imma Catholic. I even go to a catholic school. And thanks. Now I have to go to school and see her OWO
Okay, apologies in advance, I don’t why the text turned out that way.... :3
I hope things went better for your today @Starleaf
@Starleaf how're you going?
How are you, @Starleaf? I've been praying for you.
Eh. Idk. I haven't seen her today besides for in the hall while switching classes. I might snap her friend and ask her because im to scared to talk to her. But im doing a lot better.
That's outstanding!
im glad you're doing better! :)