I'm considering ending my life.
I feel so alone, so lost, so sad, so depressed. My friends in real life are using me. I can't stop crying. I feel so horribly alone and I hate it. I can't tell anyone because they'll... well, I don't know.
I guess it runs in the family. My dad's brother did it before I was born. My mother tells me she had depression when she was my age, too.
My friends are using me.
They wouldn't care if I did it.
That's why I haven't told them.
But I know you guys would, and that's why I'm telling you.
I'm also telling you because I trust you guys. I trust you guys so much. You would know what to do. You guys can help me. Please.
I've prayed to God that He'll somehow tell me everything's going to be alright.
Please help me. I'm so sorry about everything mean I've ever done or said.
I love you guys, forever and always.
~ Em 🖤
oh . . . my . . . God . . . how did you use my exact words?? I'm struggling through depression too, and suicidal thoughts. But don't give up. From my own experiences, I know that death can sound tempting and a blessed relief. But think of the people that would miss you. The ones that would cry for days and weeks on and from their heart being ripped out from loss. Keep living for those people. And the rest of us on the Message Board: we're some of those people. Never give up.
I have no idea how you could ever have depression.......... I feel really sad sometimes but that's because I've had a bad day. And, Echo, the ABSOLUTE POSTIVELY worst thing to do is kill yourself. Because, then you'll be causing everyone you love more pain AND more dpressoin. That is why you must stay strong and help your family. Just think about good things, like Lily!
I've been struggling for months, and this is what I always tell myself, hope this helps:
God didn't make me for nothing. He made everyone special, including me. He gave me the power to breath, to fight, to forgive, to know my mistakes. He gave you the power to be brave and share your thoughts with us. Don't let your friends drive you to suicide. It's not worth it. Whenever I cut myself or sulk on the bed I used to think that I'm the cause of my family's struggle. That they would be more peaceful if I was dead. But that is NOT true. Your parents care about you, and if you took your life think about there shattered hearts. Your depression and suicide will become contadious to your family, and they will to be depressed. They will be miserable forever. You should tell your parents or someone you trust can help you in person. Screw those friends that use you, just know that you're not alone sis. All your friends on MB and your family loves you and cares about you. I know what it’s like to want to die. I know the feeling of hopelessness. I know the sense of loneliness. I know the soul crushing despair and longing to fade into nothingness.
I know you don’t have to make that date with death. Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worst, suicide elimates the possibility of ever getting better. If your friends use you or dont care about you, then they aren't friends. Death is forever. While you live, you have the power to change things, even if it feels impossible. Once you are gone, your choice is over. Don't kill yourself not tonight, not tomarrow, not ever. If you kill yourself, someone has to be the one to find your body. Imagine that person is your mother, your sibling, or even your dog. They can never forego that image. Any bad remark they have ever made to you will replay in their minds until the day they die. Your dog won't understand why you didn't wake up. If anything, don't do it for your pet. Their lives revolve around you. You I beg you, dont take your life please.. stay strong. :)
Besides, taking your life is a mortal sin and you'll go to hell, then your suffering will never be over.
Think this: Life is completely unpredictable. You don't know what could happen tomorrow. Tomorrow could be the day where everything finally falls in to place.
But wait, you killed yourself today.
You're gone. Your family is in shambles. Your old friends wonder where they went wrong. If you had just made it one more day, there would be no hurt. You would have started getting better. You'd look back on these dark times as a distant memory. If you just make it through each day at a time, your tomorrow will finally show up. Your solution will arrive. Don't cut your life short because things didn't fall in to place on your time frame. The Universe had a different plan all along.
Sometimes I don't know why I don't say these things to myself when I listen to my hacker's voice messages. ;-;
You're more than a sister to me, your my best friend despite I never met you. I will never forgive myself if you take your own life.
oh yeah? how do you think I feel? with you disappearing and possibly already dead? im feathering fuming. how could you tell me not to kill myself, yet you decide it's fine if you do? what makes you think I wouldn't care as much as you? what gives you the authority to decide that I'm not allowed to do it and that god loves me, yet you're allowed, nobody would care, and god doesn't?
why do you not believe your own words? "tomorrow is when everything falls into place. life is unpredictable."
you're my best friend. I love you! get that through your snow herd-like brain! why do you believe I wouldn't care...
if you left me, without saying goodbye?
@Echomoon I'm so sorry Echomoon. I'm sorry you have to go through that. But, we don't know that Rainfeather committed suicide. But, still. I'm sorry
@Riverbreeze it's been a week now. a week. nothing new on her Roblox account. nothing new on her Wattpad account or fandom account or here. nothing. not a thing has changed. she's been inactive for a week. a full week. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it.
Echo, if your friends are treating you badly and making you feel this way, you need to step away from them so they can't hurt you anymore. Find someone else- maybe even someone struggling with these same problems. Ditch your old friends but do not kill yourself! Everybody who truly loves you, whether through the message board or in real life, would suddenly be plunged into depression like yours, and things would be no better. You have so much more to do in this world, and if you ended your life now, you'd never get to accomplish the things God wants you to do. Who knows what you will become? The person who discovers the cure to cancer, or the founder of an organization that helps kids in need. You'll never know if you end it now.
This may be an awful time for you to be going through, but you can get through it! And when you do, you'll be stronger then you ever have been. You'll be able to grow more aware from these experiences, and realize when others are in need. You can comfort others with depression and help them to move through their dark time.
You could save lives!
If you haven't already, talk to someone you trust: REALLY TRUST: face-to-face. It could be your parent, relative, teacher, etc. Tell them what's happening (you don't have to be detailed) because they will know what to do and they can help you!
We're all here for you, Echo. We're all going to be here for you, praying for you, knowing that you can do this. You can make it. You are strong!
Echo and Flamefrost:
God loves you. PLEASE never forget that! You were put on this Earth for a reason. You might not know what that reason is, but there is a reason. Just like sheep, everyone can go astray. You might want to go your own way. But, Jesus knows your every move. And he died to save me and you. Our God proves that he cares for you, each and every day. Look outside at the sunshine and count all the blessings He's given you. Don't forget to count yourself because you might not know it, but God loves you and made you just the way you are supposed to be. I've found a Bible verse that I hope will help you remember that Christ is right next to you, holding your hand and leading you through the dark times:
"God chose you out of all the people on Earth as his cherished personal treasure." Deuteronomy 14:2
God, the Savior and Lord of Lords and King of Kings, chose YOU to be his Cherished Personal Treasure.....just think about that....
Whenever I feel sad and lonely, I listen to these songs. They lift my spirits. But, don't just listen to them. Close your eyes and feel them. Feel God in your heart, trying to talk to you. Ignore the lyrics on the screen and listen to the lyrics in your heart and soul:
Come Alive (Dry Bones) by Lauren Daigle:
Breathe by Johnny Diaz:
Chainbreaker by Mercyme:
Please, never forget how much you mean to Him...and to us. And those "friends" who are using you, don't hang out with them anymore. They clearly don't deserve you. You are such a better person than they are. You are kind, thoughtful, brilliant, beautiful, and AMAZING! This Messgae Board and this world would not be the same without you here. Please, talk to your parents and never give up hope! Never give up! Stay strong! Stay amazing! You will make it through this. We are here for you. Now, and forever.
Totally, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." I have a fave verse, Psalm 16:11, "You will show me the path of life, in Your presence is fullness of joy, in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." I hope I helped you out!
and one more thing.... I'm praying for you Echomoon.