Well, hello, everyone. It seems like it's been a while.
I never made a complete "I'm leaving" post like some of us (gives Echo and Brightberry threatening looks) but I think it's worth mentioning that I'm back.
I don't really know why I left. The increased workload of high school is certainly part of it, but I don't think that was even close to the whole thing. I mean, I have a study hall – that's when I'm writing this – so why not take advantage of it? I think I left partly due to how many people already were doing so, and it hurt to be reminded of the fact that they were gone.
I may have also left because I thought the site was a bit juvenile. Which, really, it is. But that shouldn't mean I can't like it – who governs what I like? I do. I'm not proud of the fact that I left because I thought I "shouldn't" like it anymore.
But regardless of why I left, in the time I was gone, I had some time to think. Yes, the majority of that thinking was directed at the fact that quadratic equations are facetious and infuriating, but that wasn't all of it. The other part of my headspace was directed, roughly, in this direction:
Who am I?
We see the question all the time in those biographies that make the people look like bobblehead dolls on the covers, but it can't always be answered with facts. Our age, our hair color, our height... those are aspects of us, not all of who or what we are. And they can be answered quickly. Fourteen, light brown, 5' 4"... simple question, simple answer.
The questions that aren't answered with facts, however, are objectively more important. What do I want to be doing? How am I feeling right now? Who am I attracted to? How am I viewed by my peers – and how do I let that view affect me? The answers to these questions may take a post longer than this one already is to answer – and they change. It's baffling, maddening at times, and somehow intrinsically wonderful.
We are exactly who we are. That can change. We have bad days, old friends, new hobbies, bad habits. We may not know exactly who we are, but finding out is what life is.
Go live it.