Sorry it took me so long to make guys, anyways, here's the last comment (well, technically comments) from part 2-
Dovefrost:
Dovefrost was on her way back to the foals when she was Bakari and then she grabbed him and put him on her back next to Vida, "No more doing stupid things to save each other!" She shouted to them. Vida laughed, "Yes mother I don't want to ever have to put them in that position again." Her voice was drenched in pain. Her leg was damaged and her side was bleeding.
Vida:
She winced, every turn her mother made caused her to have to hold in a shriek. She pretended that her grimaces were smiles. "So Bakari, how are you doing?" Her heart rate sped up and her breathing started to hurry and she started to pant.
(Lilith creates lightning and can control storms(her main thing is lightning) but how about Frayan can use lightning to teleport to different places? That way he still can use lightning, he's just teleporting)
Frayan:
Frayan looked at Anblick apologetically, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, Anblick."
Jeray:
"What's h-happening?" Jeray squeaked, keeping her eyes open with effort, "Frayan?"
Her brother rushed to her side, "I'm here, Jeray," He said soothingly.
Anblick:
"I don't know. But, I assure you- a pegasus did not do this. It was probably a lone ice tiger." He said, still smiling at Frayan. He flinched as a bolt of lightning sprung out from Frayan. "U-uhm... could you....not shoot lightning bolts into the air?"
Thea:
"Okay, let's go. Fast and low-that way we won't draw as much attention to ourselves." She kicked off, but not before sending Bakari a guilty and apologetic glance. But, with Iden and Silren following her, she flapped her wings and led the way towards Sky herd.
(Is Kiro still beside Jeray?)
(Aw, I love electricity. Well, he only has lightning power, that's it.. is that okay?)
Frayan:
"What happened?" Frayan said through his clenched teeth. (Don't be surprised at Frayan's behavior tho, he can get upset like this... a lot.) "Did a pegasus do this?" The young stallion asked, controlling himself, yet still trembling.
Anblick:
He rushed to Frayan and pressed his wing against Frayan's. "Frayan! Calm down. Your sister will be okay. Thea, Iden, and Silren are going to find a healer, okay?" He said, his voice gentle. He smiled, trying not to show how scared of the lightning he was. "I'm your brother, remember? We're not going to let your sister die."
(Lilith, Dragon's OC, has really similar powers to Frayans- lightning and storm manipulation. Just letting you know that you made want to edit that)
Iden:
I want everyone to stay together. Once we get there, I'll shift and go get Shimmerstream while you wait. I don't want to sound selfish but im the only one who can get in there without showing my true identity. I don't want to risk any of us getting caught." She smiled and nodded for them to head off. The trip should take a day, more or less. She prepared herself for the challenges they would face.
(Don't mean to be pushy, but... anyone home?)
Frayan:
Frayan galloped towards his sister. "JERAY!" He cried, panicking over his sister. "What have you done to her?" He brayed, rearing, threatening to strike the mare tending Jeray's wounds. (I don't think any of the herd steeds knows Frayan well or at all.) Sparks of lightning crackled through his teeth; Frayan pawed the ground, turning up dirt and grass. He exploded electricity into the sky; out of fear for his young sister, not out of rage. Jeray shouldn't have to suffer these things, she was only a yearling; not yet understanding fully of her power.
Jeray:
Jeray jerked, kicking out with her legs, recovering her consciousness. She gasped as she found a strange mare pressing on her wounds; wincing from the sting of the deep tears in her back. "Where am I? Who are-" Jeray cried out as the wound was pressed again between her wings. "Who are you?"
Anblick:
His heart skipped as Marlcloud called Silren's name. His head darted to the filly, his eyes overwhelmed with worry, but he noticed that Silren looked excited about this. So, he softened a little, happy that Silren was able to follow her dreams and leave the Trap, if that's what she wanted.
Thea:
She nodded again, then looked from Silren to Iden. "Ready? Let's leave as soon as possible." She said, opening her wings. 'I might gain my powers while we're gone..." But, Thea shook those thoughts away, and stretched her wings for will power.
Marlcloud:
She looked skeptical as she continued to apply pressure to the wound, and half-heartedly agreed. “Fine, but be quick and talk to no one! Silren, go with them,” Marlcloud ordered her daughter, and then refocused all of her attention back to applying pressure to Jeray’s wounds.
Silren:
She nodded excitedly to her mother. She was going to leave the Trap! She hadn’t done so, ever! She knew she was being selfish, and she should be focusing on Jeray’s health, but she couldn’t help but be a little over enthusiastic about finding the mare Shimmerstream. Her mother had taught everything about landmarks near each herd, and what the vein looked like, and where to find water. She was ready.
Thea:
She nodded once, then glanced to Marcloud. "I say we bring one more steed-just in case something goes wrong. In this case, one more steed wouldn't be a bad idea." She said, her voice even and determined.
Vida:
"Iden can you go with Thea and get there and bring her back ok?" She liked to take charge in moments of disaster
Iden:
She turned to Foxspark. And then to Marlcloud.
"I can go with you. I can be disguised as a normal pegasus. My original plan was only to go with one or two others. The reason I even brought it up was because my powers are perfect for this job" She said looking confidently with her miss-matched eyes, at the lead-mare.
Thea:
After about 10 minutes of hard flying, Thea finally slowed down and stopped. "This is totally ridiculous! You are acting like a newborn! You just left your friends!" She said, aloud to herself. A wave of guilt hit her and she grimaced.
Thea quickly decided to head back to the herd. She whirled around and pumped her wings, aiming towards the faint spot of green clearing in the distance. Just as she was flying back, she heard a blood-curdling scream. She didn't recognize the scream and she started to fly faster, her heart beating anxiously.
She got to the clearing soon and landed next to Anblick, who was gathered around a strange filly along with Foxspark, Bakari, Kifo, Iden, and the others. "Anblick! What happened?" She called as she cantered over to him.
Anblick jumped at her voice, but relaxed when he saw her, "I-I don't know. K-Kifo just f-found her like th-this." He stammered, obviously bothered by all the blood pouring from Jeray's wounds. Thea flexed her wings and looked at Foxspark and Marcloud, "I wanna help. What can I do? There has to be something!" She said, her eyes wide and her muscles tense.
(Idea, how about Thea goes and gets Shimmerstream and when she is with her she gets her powers and Shimmerstream helps you heal her. Maybe?)
(Idea:
Skip ahead 4 days-hear me out- Foxspark and Marlcloud(and maybe Shimmerstream) heal her to the best of their abilities, but Jeray is still in critical condition and close to death. Then, Thea gains her powers(she's a healer), returns to Shadow herd and heals her? Is that too much? Is it too selfish and focused on Thea? We don't have to do it, if it is)