So... as the title says, this is basically why I have so many issues on here, as well as why my characters all have some mental, physical, or emotional problems.
So some of the reasons why my characters are dramatic is because I love drama. But there is another side of me that never gets seen, not even by my parents. I may seem like a happy, joyful girl, but behind closed doors, I'm not happy at all. When I'm not on here, all I do is contemplate my life and question my sanity. My father doesn't know, and I won't tell him... yet. I hate school, people, and everything. People know I feel and none of them help!
The reason for my issues is I've been bullied since first grade(I'm now in 10th), died 13 times, stayed in a hospital for 8 months straight, had many surgeries, have a screwed up voice, am slightly suicidal, and I have been for years, feels alone, feels depressed, has no friends, make terrible choices, has been mentally abusing myself for years, a moron grabbed my waist and tried to either do something to me or lift me up, then he followed me and now I'm very self-conscious about myself, and finally, my dad never helps.
This has all made a massive blow to my mental state. I don't know how much more I can take before I break. If anyone has advice, please give it to me!
P.S: THE THINGS THAT ARE CIRCLED IN GREEN ARE WHAT I HAVE!!!
First paragraph: Major depression is a medical condition requiring treatment. It is more severe and lasts much longer than reactive depression. Major depression may develop from reactive depression, or it may be the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain or a genetic tendency.
~From, your loving herd member, LunarLilly/Lilly/Luna/Lunar(In winter, FrostLilly/ Lilly/ Frost. In summer, SunLilly/Sun/Sunny/Lilly. In fall, LeafLilly/Leaf/Lilly)
Sorry your going through this I completely feel you
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I'll keep this short and to the point, but that's diffidently some tough stuff you're dealing with. But I have to say one of the best things about this MB and the whole Herd Nerd community in general is that we're here for you if you ever need us and we're ready to support you in whatever ways we can. A lot of us have had to deal with similar things in the past both irl and on the MB so just know you are NOT ALONE.
The context of this post is for sure not the same, but Mrs. Alvarez made a post awhile back that had some really helpful tips for mental health related things: https://www.theguardianherd.com//messageboard/herd-chat/dealing-with-depression?origin=member_posts_page
I've been through some of it. Not all but some. Listen to me, as someone who has suffered from thoughts like that and mental health, take a break. Take a break from screens, take a break from people. When I was going through some horrible stuff and stress, I took a break. I did a thing where I turned off my laptop and hid in my room. I only came out for bathroom breaks, doing chores, school, and eating food. I read so much in that time. It has truly helped me with managing stress and mental health. Sometimes we just need a break. My break lasted for a few days and helped. I suggest doing this, especially if something big is going to happen soon like moving. You can message me via Wattpad if you have it. I'll give you my username if you'd like. Just please try to do the break, if it doesn't help then at least you tried and know what to do better for next time. Maybe try going to therapy about it, or sit your dad down and talk to him how an adult would (with being respectful ofc)
The first thing I can recommend is taking a few very deep, and relaxing breaths. All of that sounds really awful and scary. No one should have to go through what you are going through alone. I believe in moments of deep pain in the mental state, your brain tries to tell you that no one is there for you, but you seem like a pretty cool person, and though I don't know you very well, I hope you can see it. This world values you, and in times of pain, the best thing you can do for yourself is hold on tight to something you love and makes you feel happy. Go back to the basics and figure out where that childhood joy is. I have had an interesting few years that have messed up my mental state at times, and I'm healing, but its a slow process for me, but once you start, it's so much better. The hardest thing to do is to face these things and decide that you won't let them steal your joy any longer. To forgive yourself for anything you feel you did wrong, because we can't change our past, but we can control our future. When mistakes are made, or choices we don't like, learning from them is best.
What I do, that really really helps, is I write or draw, listen to music, and talk to my closest friends. I don't have very many, but the ones I do have took me a long time to find. Right now, you may feel alone, but maybe the perfect person just hasn't found you yet, because I bet you are pretty cool. I also recommend talking to an adult you trust. Talking helps a lot.
Last of all, because I just don't feel well, I have faced a moron before, and it put me in a state of lots of stuff. You didn't do that, it wasn't you. I hope you feel better, and remember you are loved.
Well... I understand where you are coming from, For me i use to and still sorta do abuse my OCs for a while that was fun and it helped a bit.. but it's only temporary. Try giving your characters a break and make them do somthing fun like i got mine into a romance with Rayne nd honestly it nothing has made me happier (dont steal Rayne though she is taken!) soon I lost interest in almost everything that i use to love. I seemed hppy but wasn't. What helped me feel nmore sure of myself and most importantly find my joy was a few things. One was i became less active on here and on electronics, I started to listen to music, (for me fast music calms me ) like alot, second I surrounded my self with people tht actully cared about me, and for me thats my mom and three friends. I started drawing alot more while i listened to music and that honestly set me free. I also Read and wrote more stories. Also don't think about your whole life and all things you messup on or what you have to do, it will drive you crazy, instead take it day by day focuse on the here and now, if you find your self escalating use your senses to bring you back in the now, forexample what do you hear, see, feel, where are you, how does it look, for me this has really helped