I REALLY wanted to do a fight scene with my main OC Darkblaze, so here we go! (Also, you don't have to, but please tell me if my writing has improved since Choice!)
(This page was reloaded again and again and I lost my progress, urghhhhh.)
Over time, what was meant to be a simple fight scene morphed into something different. I keep struggling with putting an overflow of emotions in my stories, so I hope you can feel the fury of this piece. Enjoy, my herd mates.
The air had a certain damp quality to it, and a crackle that made it apparent a storm was on its way. Not that the humidity bothered Darkblaze and Stormfall; they hailed from Desert Herd, equipped with large lungs, thin coats, special hooves and wide-set eyes. They weren't just used to the heat, they thrived in it.
The two best friends were grazing in River Herd's plains, a little ways away from the rest of the herd.
Stormfall shook his head, lifting his eyes skyward to the grey clouds covering the blue expanse. "A storm's coming," he observed, flaring his gold-tipped warm brown wings.
The buckskin grazing beside him lifted her head as well, spreading her ruby wings and rattling her emerald-tipped feathers. "You're right," she agreed, then sighed, dipping her head back down. "I miss the desert, where it never rained."
The champagne palomino exhaled, shaking his auburn mane again. "Me too. I don't know what our future holds, but it's looking bright."
Darkblaze beamed at him.
A flurry of wingbeats pulled the best friends out of their laze.
"Oh look, it's the dynamic duo," a jeering voice snorted from behind them.
They turned around to reveal a tall liver-chestnut stallion rattling his dusty red feathers. A snip like a water droplet rested on his nose. He had a brown mane and tail and three white socks.
He was standing a few winglengths away, with two other pegasi on either side of him: a dapple grey mare with magenta feathers, a long white mane and tail and four white stockings, and a stocky bay stallion with light green wings, a white face, one brown eye and one blue one.
Darkblaze turned her attention to who they were hassling and started violently. Rustdune and Emeraldshade! Rustdune was a Sun Herd Desert Herd cross, and one of Darkblaze's dearest friends. Emeraldshade was a Jungle Herd mare, Rustdune's crush.
Momentarily, Darkblaze remembered Rustdune going on about the white heart-shaped marking on the Jungle mare's shoulder, and smiled.
Then the wind blew, and the moment was gone.
"What do you want?" Rustdune snapped, flaring out her wings.
The leader snorted, flapping his large wings. "Why do you two always hang out together? It's weird," he jeered, creating gusts with his wings.
Stormfall huffed. "Let's go help them," he sighed.
They trotted over to the five, standing next to their friends.
"Hey guys," Emeraldshade smiled, inviting them over and ignoring the bullies.
All the pegasi were spaced out on the grass.
The dapple mare took a step forward. The six pegasi were only three tail lengths away from each other.
"Your eyes are weird," she hissed at the buckskin.
Darkblaze snorted. "So are his," she snapped, flinging an accusing wing at the bay stallion, who leered at her.
"Why are you harassing our friends?" Stormfall asked, his voice even.
The leader of the bullies raked the ground with his hoof. "Mares shouldn't like other mares," he brayed.
Darkblaze whinnied, sharp and shrill. "They're not hurting you. Leave them be!"
The dapple mare sized the buckskin up.
"And who might you be?" She demanded, flaring her magenta wings.
Darkblaze rose to her full height, forcing the dapple to look up at her.
"Darkblaze, filly of Sunfire, now Sunspark, and Opalfeather of Desert Herd."
She turned to the other two. "Who are you?"
The bay stallion, a few winglengths away, did the same as she. "Icetwist, colt of Shaderay and Snow Herd captain Mossfire, now Mosslight."
The dapple mare snorted and followed the different-eyed stallion. "Moonfrost, filly of Spiderberry and Nightcall of Jungle Herd."
The liver chestnut stallion rose to his full height, spreading his dusty red wings to make himself look more imposing.
"I am Smokeglade, colt of Rockwing and Birchcloud of Mountain Herd."
Rustdune threw her head up and nickered. "Good joke. Rockstorm –" she used his old name "– is dead, and he never had any colts."
Moonmist grinned. "Birchcloud birthed Smokeglade after the Destroyer returned."
Stormfall snorted, raking the earth. "So now that we're introduced, why are you hassling Rustdune–" he gestured with a wing to the mare "– and Emeraldshade?"
Rustdune glared at him.
He shrugged his wings. "I figured I'd save the other intros."
Smokeglade brayed. "It's unnatural for mares to be... friendly with other mares."
He spat out the word like it was a sour apple.
Emeraldshade drew back her lips, baring her teeth. "Why should it bother you so much? That's completely tame-brained!"
The atmosphere between the seven of them shifted, and suddenly the humid, crackly air turned electric.
Smokeglade let out a screeching cry. "Father and mother say only the worst rejections turn to the same gender for mates," he sneered. "Because no one else will have them."
"Shut up!" Rustdune yelled, her anger rising. "I'd bet anything you've been in love with Emeraldshade for moons!"
"What about your life?" Moonmist shot back immediately.
Rustdune squealed.
"OOOOKAAAAAY!" Stormfall spread his wings between them, raising his voice. "Let's not fight. We're meant to be united. It's completely tame-brained to argue because of this."
Icetwist whinnied sharply. "And who do you think you are?"
Stormfall glanced at Darkblaze out of the corner of his eye, and she nodded once, without hesitation.
"Stormfall, colt of Thistlefeather and Skybird, used to be Thistlewing and Skycloud."
Icetwist faltered, then a scowl re-took his features. "Fine. We have two second-in-commands then."
Emeraldshade drew back a little, then sighed. "This is a pointless debate. Let's go," she turned around and started off.
Smokeglade huffed. "Horses."
Rustdune scowled at them, then turned around. Emeraldshade ignored the name-calling.
Darkblaze glowered at the bullies, then nodded at Stormfall and they both turned tail.
The buckskin flicked her ears as they heard the bullies scoff from behind them.
"Useless half-breeds."
Quicker than lightning, Darkblaze whirled around in seething fury and struck out a hoof, a loud scream hurtling past her throat.
Her Desert Herd hoof, fit for battle under instruction of her father, slammed into Moonmist's flank, and the latter squealed in anger.
Darkblaze wasn't sure what happened next, but a flurry of rust-coloured feathers erupted around her head and suddenly something was pelting her back.
She roared, seeing red. She transferred all her weight to her front hooves and let herself fly, throwing out her back legs.
She made contact.
A choked gurgle sounded, barely audible through her haze, and a body hit the grass.
Darkblaze did not care.
The sky rumbled, so loud it nearly split her ears.
Red.
One beat.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Beat. Beat. Beat.
Darkblaze gasped, her legs quaking. She shook her head, finally clearing her vision.
She was thrown from her thoughts when Icetwist landed a stunning blow to her shoulder.
She shrieked in a chilling mix of shock, pain and unbridled fury.
Darkblaze flapped her wings once, twice, then leapt in the air, pivoted and landed a glancing blow to Icetwist's jaw.
She landed next to Stormfall, and the two backed into each other, covering their every side.
Stormfall was facing Smokeglade, the latter preparing to ram into him.
For a split second, Darkblaze felt the weight of guilt come crashing onto her, crushing her into the grass.
I did this.
Her line of vision switched to Emeraldshade and Rustdune fighting Moonmist, baring their teeth and trading kicks and bites.
I did this.
I did this.
This is my fault.
And then the moment was gone, and Darkblaze spiralled back to to battle. She opened her light blue eyes.
Icetwist brayed and ran at her, biting her neck.
Almost instinctively, she slammed her front hoof back into his stomach, and he flapped his wings around her head to confuse her.
"Leave my friends alone," she said, in a wavering voice. Pleading. All ferocity gone.
Icetwist snorted, and she noticed the two indents her hooves had made against the base of his neck. "They are freaks. Rejects, unwanted. You have to accept the truth."
Darkblaze's gaze hardened.
Her energy renewed, patience and guilt gone. Anger and outrage chased each other in her chest, bumping into her heart and igniting fury.
The battle swirled around the Desert Herd steed, details like Rustdune blocking a blow meant for Emeraldshade's head and Stormfall letting both back hooves loose occasionally sparking out to get her attention.
In that moment, nothing mattered.
Nothing except bringing the pegasus in front of her to his knees.
Wind whooshed past her ears, and the sky rolled as thunder crackled.
Beat.
And then she allowed her fury to carry her forward like she was riding a wave, and she felt all control of her limbs relent as she gave into this emotion that had sparked up inside her.
Stormfall brayed, and she joined in, then Emeraldshade, then Rustdune. As one, the four friends rained down all Hell upon their tormentors.
This was super fun to write! I'll do more soon <3 please let me know if you want to: have I improved at all from my last bit of writing, Choice (chapter 2)?
I loved it! The story was amazing!
aaaa thank you so so much Sunjazz!!!
(some) context:
Stormfall and Darkblaze – both best friends, both from Desert Herd
Emeraldshade – Jungle Herd / Sun Herd cross
Rustdune – Desert Herd / Sun Herd cross
I guess this can also represent stuff in society, about homophobia and things like that, if you want to take an r/im14andthisisdeep view about it.
EXTRA:
- yes, Rustdune and Emeraldshade are both mares. Yes, they both like each other. Yes, they will become mates. Yes, they are shipped (by most of the herd at least).
- yes, apparently pegasi can be homosexual and / or homophobic now because for plot convenience
- I created the three bullies while making this, I think I did pretty well on the names if I say so myself
- OHMIGOD THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE
- BUT WHY IS IT SO HARD TO PUT EMOTION IN STORIES
- FBDKBDSBFJHSHB
- I was listening to a bass-boosted song on a ridiculously high volume while writing this
- I did this over the span of 2 - 3 days (whenever I had the time at school)
- this page got reloaded like twice so that was fun
- the original draft of this was meant to have Froststep as the antagonist (on my Wattpad I have an OC book and a TGH fanfiction: both have information about my main OCs Darkblaze and Stormfall
I really really hope you all enjoyed this! aaaaand sorry if the viciousness of it changes your perception of me as a -pegasus- human :)
also, right after I finished all this I beat my high score on Snake – good omen? I think so
I totally ship Rustdune and Emeraldshade!
wooohooo so do I XD
I love this Ship so much!
OMGOODNESS! This was AWESOME! Any tips on writing, Echomoon?? I'm SURE I could use the pointers!
ANYWAY, time for THIS filly to go to bed! See you guys tomorrow!
thank you so so much!! pointers: read more books and steal the writing styles XD
@Echomoon XD Alrighty! Thx! I THINK I read enough, . My library had this thing where you could tell the Librarian what type of books you like, and they'd pick some out! Long story short, I did it about 6 weeks ago, she picked out 15 books for me, and I'm FINALLY on the last in the pile! But THEN I have three other books I checked out from the Library, and FOUR OTHER BOOKS I got for my Birthday in July. Sooooo...yeaaaaaaah...I have a ton of reading to do, XD
Oh my GOSH Echo, this is great! Just saying that you've 'improved' is an understatement (not that I can think of a better word XD). Don't get me wrong, I loved your pervious fan fics, but this is almost like reading a chapter from a published book! I can tell that you put a LOT of effort into making everything blend together to create this story, fantastic work!
Also, how I avoid page reloading (because I've had this happen waaaaaay more times that I care to admit) is write everything into a google doc then copy and paste when I'm finished. I like doing this since it also allows me to switch devices I'm working on really easily
@Dragon good idea! I'm using Word for my story. That way I can save what needs to be saved! :)
thank you so much Dragon!! and I'll definitely do that next time <3
THIS IS SOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you!!
BRUHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO AWESOME GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! You are SOOO GOOOD mannn! LOVED IT!!!!
thank you Ashsong!!!