I REALLY wanted to do a fight scene with my main OC Darkblaze, so here we go! (Also, you don't have to, but please tell me if my writing has improved since Choice!)
(This page was reloaded again and again and I lost my progress, urghhhhh.)
Over time, what was meant to be a simple fight scene morphed into something different. I keep struggling with putting an overflow of emotions in my stories, so I hope you can feel the fury of this piece. Enjoy, my herd mates.
The air had a certain damp quality to it, and a crackle that made it apparent a storm was on its way. Not that the humidity bothered Darkblaze and Coppersky; they hailed from Desert Herd, equipped with large lungs, thin coats, special hooves and wide-set eyes. They weren't just used to the heat, they thrived in it.
The two best friends were grazing in River Herd's plains, a little ways away from the rest of the herd.
Coppersky shook his head, lifting his eyes skyward to the grey clouds covering the blue expanse. "A storm's coming," he observed, flaring his warm brown wings.
The buckskin grazing beside him lifted her head as well, spreading her red wings and rattling her green-tipped feathers. "You're right," she agreed, then sighed, dipping her head back down. "I miss the desert, where it never rained."
The champagne palomino exhaled, shaking his auburn mane again. "Me too. But hey, there's a lot of good things about living here. We're with other herds, for one, and things are looking up for the future." Coppersky smiled at her. "We just got to look on the positive side."
Darkblaze beamed at him, nodding.
A flurry of wingbeats pulled the friends out of their laze.
"Oh look, it's the dynamic duo," a jeering voice snorted from behind them.
They turned around to reveal a tall liver-chestnut colt rattling his dusty red feathers. A snip like a water droplet rested on his nose. He had a brown mane and tail and three white socks.
He was standing a few winglengths away, with two other pegasi on either side of him: a dapple grey filly with magenta feathers, a long white mane and tail and four white stockings, and a stocky bay colt with light green wings, a white face, one brown eye and one blue one.
Darkblaze turned her attention to who they were hassling and started violently. Rustdune and Emeraldshade!
Rustdune's crossed Sun-Desert Herd build was unmistakable, along with her chestnut hide, three white socks and light blue feathers. The filly she was standing next to was clearly Emeraldshade; the blue roan Jungle Herd filly sported four white socks, emerald feathers and white markings, one of which was a heart on her right shoulder.
Momentarily, Darkblaze remembered the other yearlings marvelling at the white heart-shaped marking on the Jungle mare's shoulder, and smiled.
Then the wind blew, and the moment was gone.
"What do you want?" Rustdune snapped, flaring out her wings.
The leader snorted, flapping his large wings. "Why do you two always hang out together? It's weird," he jeered, creating gusts with his wings.
Coppersky tilted his head towards his friend. "Let's go help them," he sighed.
They trotted over to the five, taking places next to their friends, facing the three antagonists.
"Hey guys," Emeraldshade smiled, inviting them over and ignoring the bullies.
All the pegasi were spaced out on the grass.
The dapple mare took a step forward. The six pegasi were only three tail lengths away from each other.
"Your eyes are weird," she hissed at the buckskin.
"So are his," Darkblaze parried, gesturing with her wing to the bay stallion, who in turn leered at her.
"Why are you harassing our friends?" Coppersky asked, his voice even.
The leader of the bullies raked the ground with his hoof. "Fillies shouldn't like other fillies," he brayed.
Rustdune looked confused. "What do you mean? We're friends. That's fine."
The leader narrowed his eyes. "You know what we mean. You two are always with each other, always whispering and being close. We know something is up."
Darkblaze sighed. "Just leave them be. They're not hurting any of you."
The dapple mare sized the buckskin up.
"And who might you be?" The dapple filly demanded, flaring her magenta wings. She sized the buckskin up.
"Darkblaze, filly of Sunfire, now Sunspark, and Opalfeather of Desert Herd," Darkblaze replied.
She turned to the other two. "Who are you?"
The bay stallion, a few winglengths away, spoke. "Icetwist, colt of Shaderay and captain Mossfire, now Mosslight, of Snow Herd."
The dapple mare snorted and followed the different-eyed stallion. "Moonfrost, filly of Spiderberry and Nightcall of Jungle Herd."
The liver chestnut stallion spread his dusty red wings to make himself look more imposing.
"I am Smokeglade, colt of Rockwing and Birchcloud of Mountain Herd."
Rustdune shook her mane and nickered. "Good joke. Rockwing is dead, and he never had any colts."
Moonmist grinned. "Birchcloud had Smokeglade after the Destroyer returned."
Coppersky snorted, pawing the ground. "So now that we're acquainted, why are you hassling Rustdune–" he gestured with a wing to the filly "– and Emeraldshade?"
Rustdune glared at him.
He shrugged his wings. "I figured I'd save time."
Smokeglade brayed. "It's unnatural for mares to be... friendly with other mares." He spat out the word like it was a sour apple.
Emeraldshade kept a calm face. "Why should it bother you so much?"
The atmosphere between the seven of them shifted, and suddenly the humid, crackly air turned electric.
Smokeglade whinnied. "Father and mother say only the worst rejections turn to the same kind for mates," he sneered. "Because no one else will have them."
"Shut up!" Rustdune yelled, her anger rising. "I'd bet anything you've liked Emeraldshade for moons!"
"How about your life?" Moonmist shot back immediately.
Rustdune squealed in anger.
"Ooookay," Coppersky spread his wings between them, raising his voice. "Let's not fight. We're meant to be united. It's completely tame-brained to argue because of this."
Icetwist snorted at the young stallion's attempt to assume authority. "Who do you think you are?"
Coppersky glanced at Darkblaze out of the corner of his eye, and she nodded once, without hesitation.
"Coppersky, colt of Thistlefeather and Skybird, used to be Thistlewing and Skycloud."
Icetwist shrugged. "Fine. We have two second-in-commands then."
Emeraldshade sighed. "This is a pointless debate. Let's go," she turned around and began walking away.
Smokeglade huffed. "Horses."
Rustdune scowled at them, then turned around. Emeraldshade ignored the name-calling, eager to resume the conversation she was having with her friend.
Darkblaze eyed the bullies, then nodded at Coppersky, and they both turned tail.
The buckskin flicked her ears as they heard the bullies scoff from behind them.
Quicker than lightning, Coppersky whirled around in seething fury and struck out a hoof, a loud bray hurtling past his throat.
His Desert Herd hoof, fit for battle under instruction of her father, slammed into Moonmist's flank, and the latter whinnied.
Darkblaze wasn't sure what happened next, but a flurry of rust-coloured feathers erupted around her head and suddenly something was pelting her back.
She roared, seeing red. She transferred all her weight to her front hooves and let herself fly, throwing out her back legs.
She made contact.
A choked gurgle sounded, barely audible through her haze, and a body hit the grass.
Darkblaze did not care.
The sky rumbled, so loud it nearly split her ears.
Beat. Beat. Beat.
Darkblaze gasped, her legs quaking. She shook her head, finally clearing her vision.
She was thrown from her thoughts when Icetwist landed a stunning blow to her shoulder.
She shrieked in a chilling mix of shock, pain and unbridled fury as she recoiled from the pain. She flapped her wings and leapt into the air, pivoting and landing a strike to the Snow Herd steed's jaw.
Darkblaze landed next to Coppersky, and the two backed into each other, covering every angle.
Her friend was facing Smokeglade, the latter preparing to ram into him.
For a split second, Darkblaze felt the weight of guilt come crashing onto her, crushing her into the green blades currently getting trampled.
I did this.
Her line of vision switched to Emeraldshade and Rustdune fighting Moonmist, baring their teeth and trading kicks and bites.
I did this.
This is my fault.
And then the moment was gone, and Darkblaze spiralled back to to battle.
Icetwist brayed and ran at her, biting her neck.
Almost instinctively, she slammed her front hoof back into his stomach, and he flapped his wings around her head to confuse her.
"Leave my friends alone," she said, in a wavering voice. Almost pleading.
Icetwist snorted, and she noticed the two indents her hooves had made against the base of his neck. "They are freaks. Rejects. Unwanted." He spit dirt. "You are blind to the truth."
Darkblaze stared at him, stunned.
Her energy renewed, patience and guilt gone. Anger and outrage chased each other in her chest, bumping into her heart and igniting fury.
The battle swirled around the Desert Herd steed, details like Rustdune blocking a blow meant for Emeraldshade's head and Coppersky letting both back hooves loose occasionally sparking out to get her attention.
In that moment, nothing mattered.
Nothing except bringing the pegasus in front of her to his knees.
Wind whooshed past her ears, and the sky rolled as thunder crackled.
And then she allowed her fury to carry her forward like she was riding a wave, and she felt all control of her limbs relent as she gave into this emotion that had sparked up inside her.
Coppersky brayed, and she joined in, then Emeraldshade, then Rustdune. As one, the four friends rained down hell upon their tormentors.
This was super fun to write! I'll do more soon <3 please let me know if you want to: have I improved at all from my last bit of writing, Choice (chapter 2)?
UPDATED THIS WHOOP WHOOOOOP I decided to change Stormfall's name back to Coppersky, because sometimes simplicity is more effective than drama.
I gave this a minor edit, just improving some sentences. :)
BRUHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO AWESOME GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! You are SOOO GOOOD mannn! LOVED IT!!!!
THIS IS SOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my GOSH Echo, this is great! Just saying that you've 'improved' is an understatement (not that I can think of a better word XD). Don't get me wrong, I loved your pervious fan fics, but this is almost like reading a chapter from a published book! I can tell that you put a LOT of effort into making everything blend together to create this story, fantastic work!