So, I went onto this random website because I was looking for name generators and this one generator caught my eye. It was called "Fairytale Generator". So I filled in a bunch of random information (character names, animals, etc.) and I clicked generate. And this is the story that came out of it. I hope you at least... Know what, I don't even know.
So without a further ado, here it is.
Everbreeze Linrose and the Five Lit With The Flames Of All The Light In The World Phoenixes
Once upon a time there was a shy girl called Everbreeze Linrose. She was on the way to see her family friend Krista Harbor, when she decided to take a short cut through The Mosslands.
It wasn't long before Everbreeze got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Uni, but Uni was nowhere to be found! Everbreeze began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Uni. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a lit with the flames of all the light in the world phoenix dressed in an orange ribbon disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Everbreeze.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed phoenix. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Everbreeze reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from peas, a house made from cake, a house made from lolipop, a house made from cinnamon twist, a house made from muffins and a house made from pancakes.
Everbreeze could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Everbreeze looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Everbreeze a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Uni!
"Uni!" shouted Everbreeze. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Uni back!" cried Everbreeze.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Uni out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, five lit with the flames of all the light in the world phoenixes rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Everbreeze recognised the one in the orange ribbon that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Phoenix," said the witch.
"Good morning." The phoenix noticed Uni. "Who is this?"
"That's Uni," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Uni would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the phoenix.
The witch shook her head. "Uni is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Everbreeze interrupted. "Uni lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Phoenix ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Phoenix looked at the house made from pancakes and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from pancakes if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next phoenix. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Uni."
Everbreeze watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Uni to Big Phoenix. She didn't think Uni would like living with a lit with the flames of all the light in the world phoenix, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other four phoenixes watched while Big Phoenix put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Phoenix. "Just you watch!"
Big Phoenix pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cake. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
Eventually, Big Phoenix started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of cake, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Phoenix.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Phoenix never finished eating the front door made from cake and Uni remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Phoenix stepped up, and approached the house made from lolipop.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Phoenix. "Just you watch!"
Average Phoenix pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lolipop. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
After a while, Average Phoenix started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a phoenix!" said Average Phoenix.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Phoenix, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the phoenix away under his arm.
Average Phoenix never finished eating the front door made from lolipop and Uni remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Phoenix stepped up, and approached the house made from cinnamon twist.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Phoenix. "Just you watch!"
Little Phoenix pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cinnamon twist. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Phoenix started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating cinnamon twist for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Phoenix into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Phoenix. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Phoenix was never seen again.
Little Phoenix never finished eating the front door made from cinnamon twist and Uni remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Tiny Phoenix stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Phoenix. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Phoenix pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Phoenix's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of muffins, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Phoenix, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Phoenix never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Uni remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Even-Tinier Phoenix stepped up, and approached the house made from pancakes.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Phoenix. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Phoenix pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pancakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Phoenix stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Pancakes! Watch me eat all the pancakes!"
"It looks as though the pancakes are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Phoenix. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Even-Tinier Phoenix banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Phoenix never finished eating the front door made from pancakes and Uni remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Uni."
"Not so fast," said Everbreeze. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from peas. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the phoenixes. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Everbreeze.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Uni back."
Everbreeze ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from peas and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
Everbreeze sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Everbreeze. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Everbreeze's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from peas. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Everbreeze was down to the final piece of the door made from peas. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Everbreeze had eaten the entire front door of the house made from peas.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Uni or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Everbreeze hurried over and grabbed Uni, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Uni was unharmed.
Everbreeze thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Krista. It was starting to get dark.
When Everbreeze got to Krista's house, her family friend threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Krista. "You are very late."
As Everbreeze described her day, she could tell that Krista didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Krista.
Everbreeze unwrapped a doorknob made from cake. "Pudding!" she said.
Krista almost fell off his chair.
I... I don't know what this was about. I'm sorry if you read all of that... Why did I do this.